It looks like a toy tornado ripped through the living room early this morning. Blocks, rattles, jingling balls, tote buckets and colorful shapes are littered atop the carpeting. Sounds like a normal eight-month-old baby's living room? It would be if that squirmy baby had scattered his toys all over. Unfortunately, I'm the one who made the mess. I haven't taken up a new obsession with G's Little People; I'm just trying to get the kid to play with his toys instead of the pieces of dog food he found on the floor near the dog's dish. With every block I pull out of the bucket, I'm trying to steer him clear of bathing in the dog's water bowl.
Here's a typical conversation between G and me.
Hey, G, look what mommy found! Mommy found blocks! Oh, you don't want to play with the blocks, G? You want to play with the free-standing lamp and watch it crash to the ground? All right, maybe you want to play with the balls? Look, G, the balls roll! Oh, that's not as exciting as tearing the leaves off of Grandma Cathy's peace lily? I see. How about the talking cell phone? Look, G, it makes noises when you press the button! Hmm, so that's not as interesting as the wireless router, I guess. What about your stacking cups? Look, Gabe; mommy made a really cool tower! Apparently the tower isn't as cool as the toaster you found in the kitchen cabinet. Nooooo, don't stick your fingers in the toaster.
And so on.
He didn't even give police duck more than two minutes of gnawing love this morning. I fear I'm going to have to give police duck an early retirement since the dog dishes have found more favor in my little one's eyes. I'm making a pledge: we're not buying any more new toys for the kid. I don't care how cute the brightly colored lion is after he lets out a roar when I press his tummy. The lion is not coming home with us because I know how the story is going to go; I'm the one who's going to be pressing that lion's belly to make him growl. And, please -- I'm way past the age recommendations on the box to be playing with the lion. But if that's so true, I've gotta ask myself why I'm the only one whose being drawn to play with it.