Because I'm pregnant and can no longer consume wine, I've decided to indulge myself in a new way: welcome to Wednesday Whine, where I will rant, rave, moan, groan, cry and laugh about all signs that point to my heading down the nine-month-long road of pregnancy. I hope we can all still be friends after this.
You know you're pregnant when ...
*You come across hilarious letters posted by fellow pregnant mama Lisa of Diapers and Wine, and you laugh so hard you cry. But you don't just have tears in your eyes from the laughter; as you're laughing at Lisa's witticisms, you're also sobbing like someone just stole your pregnant-lady puppy chow. And then you're crying so hard, your husband comes running into the room, understandably baffled, because you were just laughing serious belly laughs about 2.5 seconds ago. When he asks you what's wrong, you bellow something about being married with a toddler and pregnant with a new little life while still wearing braces and sprouting a new acne blemish each day. And then when he jokes with you about being a pregnant teenager to lighten the mood, you have a new melt down concerning turning 26 in less than two weeks.
*You burst into tears while watching an emotional scene of mother saying goodbye to her dying son on General Hospital. It should also be said that you have never have watched General Hospital before, thus, you have no emotional involvement vested in any of the characters' lives. And you're not actually watching TV, you just happened to catch this scene while laying on the couch trying to discern which nausea waves were from the pregnancy and which were from the flu you managed to catch from your local resident toddler.
* You're already bursting at the seams of your jeans. You cannot button the perfect size-1o jeans you worked so hard to get your Fat Kids' Club President butt into. You've barely been able to stomach food for the past two weeks and you've trudged to Curves faithfully, but your button still refuses to reach the buttonhole. You're only six and a half weeks pregnant, and you cannot button your pants. This must be a new record. Your husband assures you that during the second pregnancy women often "pop" earlier, but what's to pop??? Your baby is the size of a freakin' lentil bean. And the gap between the button hole and button is a lot wider than a lentil bean.
Need to whine? Join the party, and leave a comment.