Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wednesday Whine: You know you're pregnant when ...

Because I'm pregnant and can no longer consume wine, I've decided to indulge myself in a new way: welcome to Wednesday Whine, where I will rant, rave, moan, groan, cry and laugh about all signs that point to my heading down the nine-month-long road of pregnancy. I hope we can all still be friends after this.

You know you're pregnant when ...

*You come across hilarious letters posted by fellow pregnant mama Lisa of Diapers and Wine, and you laugh so hard you cry. But you don't just have tears in your eyes from the laughter; as you're laughing at Lisa's witticisms, you're also sobbing like someone just stole your pregnant-lady puppy chow. And then you're crying so hard, your husband comes running into the room, understandably baffled, because you were just laughing serious belly laughs about 2.5 seconds ago. When he asks you what's wrong, you bellow something about being married with a toddler and pregnant with a new little life while still wearing braces and sprouting a new acne blemish each day. And then when he jokes with you about being a pregnant teenager to lighten the mood, you have a new melt down concerning turning 26 in less than two weeks.

*You burst into tears while watching an emotional scene of mother saying goodbye to her dying son on General Hospital. It should also be said that you have never have watched General Hospital before, thus, you have no emotional involvement vested in any of the characters' lives. And you're not actually watching TV, you just happened to catch this scene while laying on the couch trying to discern which nausea waves were from the pregnancy and which were from the flu you managed to catch from your local resident toddler.

* You're already bursting at the seams of your jeans. You cannot button the perfect size-1o jeans you worked so hard to get your Fat Kids' Club President butt into. You've barely been able to stomach food for the past two weeks and you've trudged to Curves faithfully, but your button still refuses to reach the buttonhole. You're only six and a half weeks pregnant, and you cannot button your pants. This must be a new record. Your husband assures you that during the second pregnancy women often "pop" earlier, but what's to pop??? Your baby is the size of a freakin' lentil bean. And the gap between the button hole and button is a lot wider than a lentil bean.

Need to whine? Join the party, and leave a comment.

3 comments:

  1. Got another one for ya. You know you're pregnant when you wake up in the middle of the night and have to think....really think...about whether or not it's worth the effort and the assault on your hips and back to turn over...and then you decide no, it's not worth it, so you continue to lie there like a beached whale.

    Thanks for the comment over at my place and the linky love! And congrats on the new little nugget!

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  2. Congratulations!

    That is so true! I'm ten weeks and I hear you sister! What a great post. I miss my wine too.

    I just found your blog and love it! I'm looking forward to reading more.

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  3. Oh man...if that General Hospital thing is any indication, I've been pregnant for YEARS.

    Also...congratulations!!! Yay for new babies! All of that other stuff sounds like it sucks but you know...you win a baby at the end and that's cool, right?

    ReplyDelete

There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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