For some reason, he feels the need to grab my ear and rub them at various times during the day. I'm pouring chocolate milk, and he's got a grip on my ears. I'm snuggling him to sleep, and he's massaging my earlobes. I'm putting on his coat, and he's maneuvering his hands toward my ears. Whatever we're doing, he's somehow now always touching my ears. And when both my and John's ears are in reach, he equally loves one of each of our ears with both of his hands.
It's not particularly bothersome, and it's not like he's developed a fascination with stroking, um, more private parts of my body, so it's also not inappropriate.
It's just interesting ... curious ... unusual ... strange ... and, OK, I'll say it -- it's downright odd. What is he thinking? It's not like I'm wearing huge blingy studs in my lobes, and rubbing ears, in my very-limited experience, has never brought any luck or anything. So what's the deal, toddler? What's with the ear rubbing?
My mom noticed this new fascination with ear massaging, too, and she recalled that my cousin's son -- also around G's age -- has had this desire to rub ears for a very long time. She said my cousin jokes that he has an ear f*tish. F*tish? Hmmm. That's a scarier word. And it sounds more serious than a fascination.
So is this, like, genetically ingrained? Am I going to have enlist John to warm our son before he goes on dates that it's too forward to just begin massaging the ear of the young lady with whom he's out? Am I going to find posters of giant ears taped to his wall? Will his future wife have to buy ear muffs as part of her lingerie collection?
John thinks it's something he does when he wants to calm himself, and he has assured me that the word f*tish does not necessarily go hand-in-hand with professional counseling. I think I agree; I was just venting some random, wildly outrageous, pregnancy-hormone-induced concerns in regard to this ear thing actually being a fetish. I think about these kinds of things; you know -- the stuff that has the probability of happening of, like, one out of a million ... or billion.
OK, but seriously, am I alone? Doesn't anyone else have a toddler who does this kind of thing? Maybe it's not an ear fascination, but perhaps something else?
...
Anyone?
30 comments:
Ahahaha! I am so laughing at your psycho-analysis of Gabe! Too funny.
No, hon, he's not an odd ball. It is a weird thing, and who knows why it's the ears, but it's not unusual. I hope. Because Monsoon started doing it about six months ago. He's 3. My mom watched a little girl when we were kids, she was around 3 or 4, and she would ask, "can I hold your ear?" and she would just hang on to it and suck her thumb with her other hand. I'm guessing she asked only because her mother taught her it was polite to ask before doing that - which now that I think about it, is probably a conversation I'll have to think about soon.
Ben picks his lip. Constantly. It is his replacement for his lovie when he can't have him (e.g. whenever he is not in bed).
My friend MJ's son has a belly-button thing. She has to buy him two piece pajamas (even in the middle of a MN winter) because he fondles his belly-button to go to sleep.
I think they all grow out of it.
I just about died laughing at the ear muffs as lingerie line :)
They go through weird things... Fynn taps his hands on things when he's nervous or falling asleep, it's cute, but drives me up a wall!
He'll be ok :) I don't think he'll need therapy for it down the road!
The AC will, if unmonitored, put his hand up my top if we are just curled up watching tv, so he can stroke the top of my belly. Or the top of my chest. He would like to, he has stated, be able to snuggle up in my soft bits, but he knows those are for babies and he is a Big Boy now.
He remembers feeding, and says they are his favourite things in the world when he is sad! LOL! But then he's never been a thumb sucker or had a blankie or anything like that - he had the opportunity, he just didn't want it. His "security" is me!
Yes, it's normal, but an ear fixation would be nice......
All kids self soothe. And he's found a more unique way. Mister Man used to walk around the house with a huge yellow brick hanging out of his mouth all day. He grew out of it. Little Miss sucked on her two middle fingers -- until the day the dentist told her not to. And you have to admit, ears are kind of a unique feeling, ya know?
My son has been rubbing ears since he was nine months old; he is now 3 1/2. He rubs the ears of anybody he is fond of and has grading of who has the best ears to feel. "Grampys ears are brilliant" but mummies bumpy ear is his favorite (the bumps are from too many ear piercings in my misspent youth) Even the dog and cat don’t escape. And it’s not just rubbing he pokes, probes, turns them inside out and sometimes pinches!
I’m not worried I assume he will grow out of it....
My first child, Arlen touched out earlobes all the time just like your child. He's now 12 years old and fully socialized, smart and doing great in school. Earlobes are pretty soft and I think he liked how soft they felt.
Have Fun,
Dr. Guest
Well it's been months since you posted this but I'm googling to find out the same thing...why does my 2 year insist on rubbing my ears night and day. So..no, you are definitely NOT alone.
Ok, I know it's been a long time since you posted this but I just had to comment. My son is 3 1/2 years old and has this ear thingy. Whenever we can't lay down with him he will lay in the most uncomfortable positions just to get a grip on a lobe while watching tv and stuff. It's sorta getting annoying only because he talks more now so he will verbally ask us to lay down on the couch with him because he needs our ears. Just curious as to when this will end.
You're not alone. I found this googling today. I have a 2 year old and he's been doing this awhile and I decided to search today. Glad I'm not alone with this one.
Our son who will be 3 next week has done this since about 6 months; this is when he finally found something that would help calm him down. When I was breastfeeding him from birth-9months he would always rub my robe or tank or skin while eating or just on my breast for comfort. I connect this with his fascination of rubbing. Right now I am trying to find something for him to rub other than my or my husbands ears to help self-sooth and help him go to sleep. He will rub his own, but prefers to rub ours. Any suggestions?
@Annoymous, At three, I wonder if he would enjoy having his own super-soft stuffed animal with big ears to rub? Maybe he could pick it out himself that way it has the feel he's desiring?
So glad to have found this post. I was in search to find if our son is "different." He just turned 3 recently and has been rubbing ears since he was a tiny baby. When he is tired, he will say, "Let's go inside and get ears." He looks lovingly at our ears and rubs away. The only time it is annoying is when he asks if he can get our ears with his toes!!! That is when I say no. Kids do the funniest things. Glad to know we are not alone in the ear world.
I know this is a really old post, but im nearly 20 and i've started doing it again. Apparently i did it when i was a child, i guess its a soothing thing. i dont know why i do it, and it drives my boyfriend nuts!! Haha.
Dont worry, im sure its not something "worrying" xx
I just got my 2 1/2 year old for nap and thought, "I really need to google the whole earlobe thing." I'm so glad we are not alone. The ear rubbing does not bother me but it seems like my daughter is getting more and more aggressive with it and I'm afraid my she might stretch my earlobes out.LOL I have to explain to her to be gentle.
My 2 year old has been doing the same thing. Like all of you, I googled 'ear fixation' and was so relieved to find this post! My son will physically push our faces to get them into a good position to rub our ears. If his Dad and I are sitting on the couch, he'll stand in between us with one hand on each persons ear. My DH is worried he's going to grow into an ear collector lol. So glad to hear we're not the only ones!
Like everyone else, I found this page by googling to figure out what to do about the 'ear' thing my 3 1/2 year old has. I am a single parent and get annoyed by the constant ear rubbing. He even does it in his sleep when he crawls into my bed in the middle of the night. I try to encourage him to rub his own ears but he won't even consider it and gets really mad when I try to rub his ear in imitation. I hope he gets over it soon!
My daughter just turned 4 and LOVES playing with ears. She really dislikes anyone playing with her ears though. This seems to be quite normal.
I'm in the same boat! My 4 year old does this and has been doing it for the past year. He is currently really sick and will wake up crying at night and reaches up for my ears...voila! -no more crying. It is what he does when he is tired or showing affection to someone too. I laughed reading all of these posts because many of us did the same thing. I have been meaning to google it for some time and asked the pediatrician about it yesterday and she agrees that it's just self-soothing. My husband will be very relieved to read this...he was getting a bit concerned ;) Glad you posted about your son! Have a great day!
Ok I'll be the weirdo here. I'm 23 and I used to do this when I was little, an on occasion I still do it briefly when I see my mom. I guess I did it cause of how soft it felt. I always wondered if I was just weird for doing it, but I have 2 younger cousins that do the same thing. They're teenagers now and we are always playing around and we've talked about this weird soothing habit so sometimes we sit there rubbing our ears when were watching tv. But for you worried mothers, your child will grow out of it. We just do it cause we think it's funny.
my son will now be 4 in jan 2012 and he still has the same fascination with ears since he was a baby. no matter where we are or what we are doing he always seems to grab a hold of my ear and start rubbing it!!!! a lot of people have told me that the ear is like his pacifier, since i never let him suck on a pacifier. i like it sometimes because he enjoys it but it gets a little annoying too. it is a little odd but better than him wanting to suck on a pacifier! good luck
I have been freaking out to why my son rubbing my ears and dads too. He also rubs his teenage sister ears and has been doing so since his second bday. He will be 3 in February 2012. I do notice it is done when he is sleepy or anxious. The other day when i picked him up from daycare he was rubbing his own, which was the first I saw that. He don't want you to rub his ears. Totaly against it. I don't know but I am concerned, but a little more calm to know that my son is not the only one, but it is a little odd. Neither of my kids took a binky. but my daughter didn't rub ears either. Reading some of these comments I'm not alone, but that doesn't make it comforting for me either. Makes me think did I take some supper dupper Prenatals vitamins,or what did I do different or is it the enviroment. I don't know but its a fact we all pay close attention to our kids actions :)
As a mother who herself is not only the ear fiddler, but also a childhood now adulthood thumb sucker. I will inform all of you parents of what I know.
1st it is a cooping method. As a child I remember people referring to me as being spoiled because I sucked my thumb...so far from the truth.
If you are concerned about the habit lasting longer then normal pay attention to when your child is doing it. Is it only at night to fall asleep? Are they hungry, thirsty,sleepy,anxious, nervous, scared,lonesome?
Under school age children I wouldn't worry about, if the habits don't stop by the time they enter into school its time to really pay attention to why?
Don't scold the child.
Instead pay attention to why your child does it and try to coach your child into other copping methods such as taking deep breaths to relax and clear their minds, or give them a chart of faces showing emotions to refer to express what they are feeling and why and how to deal with it in nervous, worried,etc...situations.
I can not stress paying attention to why a child does it as the key to the solution. If they are in school and still has the habit, find out if they do it while in school and does it cause any disruption. If you find out they don't do it at all in school. Then the habit will most likely fade in time.
If they do it at school once again pay attention and if it causes any complaints from other students or teachers please get a professional behavior specialist to observe your child.
Had my mother paid attention to teachers pointing this out and had me observed it would of been know that I had depression cycles throughout my childhood, which in childhood is more then serious, it is abnormal unless there are reasons which is most cases is why it is being done, hence have your child observed!
But since she didn't guess what...can we say bipolar.
Well my son is playing with my ears while I write this. He's been doing it for a long time. He is gonna be 4 soon. He plays with my nose also. I don't mind him playing with my ear but sometimes he tries to twist them . That's when I tell him to stop. I think its normal.
Like Everyone else here, my son is playing with my ear, AS I AM WRITING THIS! Lol so I googled "toddler rubs my ear to self soothe" and I found this. It is honestly, just a real relief to know that there are so many others out there that do the same thing, and for the same reasons. As a mother, you worry all the time if your child is normal, or of their actions are normal. My son is 18 months old and has done this since about 5-6months old. It started out just being what he did while nursing, but that at 12 months when I stopped Breastfeeding, the ear fixation became more and more often. He does this to other family members that he is fond of as well, and this is his way of telling us that he is sleepy. Everyone says "oh, that's so cute!" but I was just worried that there was more behind it. Thank you for your post :)
I am a dad who happens to be the primary nurturerer of my now six month old son. Since his birth his mother has been unavailable to him emotionally and physically. So much so that when he was 1 year of age she would try to change his diaper inthe middle of the night and he would scream at her and then walk around the house and look for me crying. She does not do anything with him, nor does she take him anywhere. She has to threaten or bribe him for him to hug her. Right now my son's mother and I are not together, but my son lives with me. He says that he wants to visit her, but when I leave he is leaving with me and cries all night when I leave him with his mom. I think his behavior is normal considering her beavior toward him, but I want my son to have a good relationship with women and I am worried that because of his relationship with his mom that he will not.
My son also has a facination with my ears as he rubs them when he is sleepy and he says that he has to check the temperture fo my ears every day when I drop him off at school. he also can't go to sleep without rubbing my ears for 15 minutes. Is that normal?
I am the grandmother of a 5 year old ear fondler. She twists, pinch, scratch, rubs, and caress my ear(s) usually when watching t.v or bedtime.
I allowed her the pleasure of my ears when her mother became too frustrated and impatient. She has recently become self conscience regarding her ear comfort (I will call it). She came and climbed in my bed and said " no more ears when I turn six because my mom is telling my business, telling everyone I rub ears". So I comforted her by telling her "ok, that is fine. When your ready you can and will discontinue the ears so don't worry". She has since become my sleeping partner and I sincerely enjoy the bond that it has created with us. When she doesn't use the ear comfort I actually miss her touch and the endorphines being released in me. So I guess what I am saying is not only do she get comfort but so do I.
To the single father with the concern of his son's life outcome don't worry just be the best darn dad you can be for your son and let God take care of the rest.
To the other participants of the ear comfort dilemma all I will say is enjoy their touch now because there will come a time when you will want that little caressing touch!
Ear Fetish???? My son is 5 and has always played with his ears. He kind of pinches/rolls the tops with his first two fingers. He has done it since he first found them.But now his teachers are starting to wonder about him. Which scares me because his oldest half brother has tourettes. I ask him if his ears hurt and he tells me "No Mom..I just want to play with them" Lately he has two things that make me wonder what's going on. The first is pulling his pants up...I know I know most parents are going through the pants on the ground thing. My sons pants fit..we even went and bought more thinking it was the pants..it's not. he will even pull his underwear up. and those are briefs that fit. The second is the ear. I'm so worried that there is something wrong. I tell the doctor and he just scratches his head. Signed...worried
my daughter is 3 and has always wanted someones ears, paticularly mine. I got on here to find out what exactly it is and came across this. i agree its security. i also have a friend at work whose 9 year old son still likes ears on anything, they are soft and comforting to him.
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