Having braces as an adult is slightly awkward and gawky. It's especially sucky for someone who abhors having anything stuck in her teeth because virtually everything one eats gets stuck in braces. So in order to avoid awkward moments this Saturday night when my girlfriends and I went out for dinner as part of one friend's bachlorette party celebration, I did not eat anything that might get stuck in my braces during dinner. That includes the yummy chips and salsa that the waitress set directly in front of me, the starving pregnant lady who craves Mexican food. I so did not take even one bite of chips because I know that they get stuck in braces. And I definitely did not try to unsuccessfully and sneakily pry everything out of my braces that got stuck while dining with my very classy ladies. Nope, not me!
Speaking of eating, I didn't swallow in two separate incidents two of my braces' rubber bands during meals where I was absolutely famished and needed to shovel food in my mouth before my stomach began invading other parts of my body in search of something to eat. I'm classy, and I only take dainty bites so as to avoid rubber band swallowing and other unfortunate incidents like choking on lettuce. Even though I'm pregnant and my body is growing another human who seemingly demands food every 40 minutes much like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors demands Seymour feed it, um, NOW, I wouldn't use that as an excuse to devour my meals like I'd been wandering in the desert for 40 days without so much as a drop of water.
I guess I should also mention that when my mom made Puppy Chow for Gabe this weekend, I did not eat three or four handfuls and deem it a healthy snack because it has peanut butter in it. I have self-control, as I previously demonstrated in this post, so I wouldn't do that -- especially while I'm pregnant and feeling extremely self conscious about my newly acquired shape.
And about that new shape -- ugh, nothing in my wardrobe really fits anymore. So I haven't been pretending it does and squeezing myself into everything in my closet like a sausage in its casing. And before the bachlorette party, I had not almost convinced myself that my pre-pregnancy little black dress didn't look that bad despite the fact that my bump made the front of the dress a good two inches shorter than the back. Nope, not me -- I'm not delirious or irrational!
And because I'm not delirious or irrational, I didn't need my husband to all but drag me to the mall Saturday morning in search of a dress that actually fit. He also didn't need to convince me to to buy maternity jeans even though my regular jeans haven't buttoned since sometime in late February. I didn't begrudgingly try on maternity jeans, declare perfection in the dressing room, take them home, try them on with my favorite pre-pregnancy shirt and immediately burst into tears because they made my stomach look big. And my husband did not have to lovingly hold me in his arms for five minutes and remind me a few that I'm pregnant and supposed to be gaining weight, "so the stomach area, of all places, is going to be bigger now, honey ... " I've been through this before, you know, so I would never have had scene like this during the second pregnancy.
Well, what do you totally not do this week? Come on, spill it all here in the comments or on your own space; we all need to do this to keep ourselves honest and laughing, you know. :)
4 comments:
The worst body time in pregnancy is that stage where you don't look "definately" pregnant, but you definately look like it's possible, so nobody asks and they either assume you're pregnant or assume you're fat. Fortunately, maternity clothes help make it obvious.
I did NOT play the "what's that smell" game with Monsoon while he sat on the toilet. ;)
I love my children, 2 of my pregnancies were wonderful, but my last one was difficult! My oldest daughter has braces and uses the platypus flosser from platypusco, she uses it all the time. No more threading for her and it's discreet. I hope this helps. Remember it will all be worth it! Hang in there!
Don't feel bad. I've gone through 8 months of pregnancy with 3-yes-3 maternity shirts and about 3 pairs of pants. I despise the way maternity pants fit anyway. They're either way too big and falling down or they sit too low or they're too tight. I actually went out today and bought 5 shirts at a consignment store just because I'm so tired of wearing the same things everyday! Hang in there!
This is odd...I actually found your blog through a Google search for "mama drama" to pull up a link for a friend to an article I'd read...but I know you from LakeCountyAP. Small world.
I was reading your post and really connected with your thoughts about dressing during pregnancy. The hormones mixed with the changing body bring out the most difficult side of our self-esteem. I know everyone says we're doing this important, beautiful thing and we ARE. But it's difficult to surrender our bodies to that 9 month period. We're definitely wired into our body-sense as women, and pregnancy explodes those feelings.
You're not alone and it does come to an end...but that journey through the emotions of body-loss are so real. Anyway, sending hugs. My husband had a few teary-eyed wife moments too. ;)
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