You all know that I always think about things that could happen but probably never will happen -- like I have fears that perhaps Gabe will one day get stuck inside the cooler and suffocate, but the chances of that happening since we're always around when he's playing with it and since it would be really hard to cram his body entirely into it and shut the lid, probably are slim to none.
And because I just made myself extra paranoid about it by writing it down, it has even less of a chance of happening because as soon as I'm done writing this entry, I'm locking it away behind the closed door of the basement. Ahem. Back to where I was going with this ...
So we all know I think about terribly strange things that have the probability of .000000000000000001 of ever happening. Therefore, you would think that I would have previously thought of an extremely dangerous safety hazard I've been posing to my child since I began wearing him when he was two weeks old: crushing him to death.
"Ummmm, what??," you are maybe thinking.
Well, I never had thought about this until the lady at the grocery store began questioning my practice of babywearing.
Lady: He's grown so much! How can you still carry him like that?
Me: Wearing him in the wrap is just like giving him a piggy-back ride, so it's not really that
Lady: I remember when you wore him in the front when he was a baby.
Me: Yes, he certainly has always loved being close and having such a great view.
Lady: We didn't have those things when my kids were little ... which is good. Because I would have been afraid that I would fall on them and crush them.
Me, completely stunned at the turn in the conversation: Oh, I guess I've never really worried about that.
Lady: Yeah, what if you fall and land on him?
Me, still a little surprised that I, of all people, had never thought of this: Um, I guess I've never thought about it because I typically don't walk around and fall down on a regular basis ... so I guess I just assumed I probably wouldn't fall on him while wearing him.
Lady, kind of serious, kind of not: I guess I'm just a klutz.
Me, trying to smile: We've never had any problems.
Lady: I hope you never do ... did you see those cute carts we have that look like cars.
Me: Thanks a lot! Have a nice day.
Not even I, who has the worry-wort grandmother gene embedded into her genetic code, have even thought about falling on the toddler and completely crushing him while wearing him. And if I did fall, I have a feeling I would probably, you know, not totally crush him since I do have arms, after all, with which to brace myself. When I normally fall, I typically just don't tip over ala humpty dumpty without trying to brace myself for the fall by using said arms. Jeesh, some people have really over-active imaginations. And you all thought I was ridiculous. Off to banish the cooler from our sights.