Monday, May 4, 2009

Not Me! Monday: Therapy costs how much?

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. Did you know she and baby Stellan are HOME from the hospital!? Praise God!

I like to tell myself I'm a really good mom because I all but eat, sleep and breath my toddler. That's why in about ten years when the first psychiatrist's bill arrives from him attending therapy twice weekly, you all will have to remind me to look at my Not Me! Monday posts as a reminder of how we've gotten to this point.

So without any further ado, here's as list of the I never-in-a-million-years-would-have-done-that-ever moments from this past week:

Because we had pooping-in-the-potty success for about a week straight, I so did not panic one day when the toddler's pooping time came and went without him pooping in the potty. And because I did not panic, I did not put his little tush on the potty for about 30 minutes straight coaxing him to push the poops out by bribing him with chewable vitamins.

Also, one day last week when I was so totally not ultra lazy, I did not try to use the dog's new retrieving training to get him to fetch me the remote for the TV that was about 3 feet away. And I certainly did not tell the very obedient puppy that he had rocks for brains when he brought me the shoe that was sitting right next to the remote. Because I know, for sure, that a dog has to be pretty bright to fetch something I did not throw in the first place. And I clearly understand that he is a bird dog and not a remote-fetching retriever.

And I am not preparing as I type to bribe my child to be quiet while I'm conducting a phone interview by letting him dig in the swamplands formerly known as my backyard. Nope, not me!

I never would have thought about letting the toddler leave the house looking like this one day this week because I didn't have the time or energy to fight with him while he was acting like a crabby, teething wilderbeast and insisting on wearing stripes with plaid:

Please note he is not wearing either pants or shoes, and I did not rationalize that would be OK because I was planning to wear him on my back in a wrap while doing our errands. Nope! Not me!

And to top it off, because apparently I won't be going for the Mother of the Year Award this Mother's Day, I did not leave my crabbing toddler in his bedroom with his father last night so that his father could deal with putting him to sleep. And about 30 minutes later while I was waiting for daddy to be successful at putting his boy to sleep, I did not laugh out loud when I heard the toddler singing a mangled but cute version of the chorus from a Death Cab for Cutie song. And I did not continue to type my blog entry as if I heard nothing while my husband audibly groan at his bad luck in putting the toddler to bed.

Well, that feels better. You could share if you'd like. Please share!


  1. That photo of your toddler will be valuable for blackmail later.

  2. I'm so glad my nephew was born with a mother who has good taste in music.

  3. Ahahaha! The no-pants things is hilarious. Hey, whatever makes 'em happy some days, right?

    Poor husband, I totally sympathize with him. (no, no I don't).

    I did NOT put Monsoon to bed an hour early 2 nights in this week. And by "put to bed" I do NOT mean rocked him, because he's 3 and all.

  4. That is one seriously awesome outfit!

  5. I can NOT stop giggling at this post! You are the coolest mommy EVER.


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