Monday, May 11, 2009

Not Me! Monday: You know how this goes ...

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Last week I did not try to make up for being the crabby witch of the Midwest toward my husband by mowing our front lawn with the reel push lawn mower ... on the day it reached almost 80 degrees ... and while I was 21 weeks pregnant. I surely knew that this adventure would have been bound to elevate me from being the crabby witch of the Midwest to the crabby and unbearably sore witch of the Midwest. And I also surely would have known that my husband would have wished we had a dog house in the back yard so he could willing go there as I crabbed after the lawn-mowing adventure about EVERYTHING hurting and begged for a massage. And certainly I would have known that he would have rather come home and taken the 15 minutes needed to mow the front lawn rather than hear me whine every time he stopped rubbing the sore parts of my body for the duration of two or so hours.

And I did not get out on the dance floor and dance very terribly and awkwardly at my friend's wedding Saturday because I was terrified the bride would kill me if I didn't get out there and shake my pregnant butt because she certainly shook her (albeit not-pregnant) butt at my wedding even though it was a trillion and two degrees. And while I was dancing, I certainly did not dance rhythmlessly, embarrassing my husband, because I cannot seem to figure out how to shake my hips with a big old belly attached to them.

Speaking of weddings, I was not forced to completely disrobe in the bathroom stall at the reception because I insisted on wearing a pre-pregnancy outfit and could not get it tied correctly until after three tries because, really, while the belly isn't quite big enough for most maternity clothes, it is too big for non-maternity clothes. Here's a picture of the dress before I retied it correctly; please note that the way I tied neck straps certainly do not match.And I did not pick to wear this outfit even after my husband told me nicely at least three times that he liked the blue maternity dress that is, you know, made for pregnant people. And I did not rationalize picking this outfit because it made me look not pregnant -- even though the bump certainly could be seen just as well as it could be seen in the blue maternity dress and even though I am, indeed, pregnant. I am not stubborn and pregnant and emotional, and I did not let any of the things manifest themselves during the choosing of my wedding outfit.

I also did not kick off my heals mid-reception and prance around the upscale reception dance floor like I was a teenager at prom because I wore shoes that were completely inappropriate for a woman at my stage of pregnancy. I am not that vain. And fashion does not trump logic in my pregnant world. Nope, not at all.
What didn't you do this past week? I'm sure it cannot be as bad as recreating senior prom at your friend's classy wedding.


  1. Eheeheeheee! I'm laughing so hard at your denial! I wonder what causes that (I mean, it can't be ALL hormones, can it?)

  2. shaking the hips with a big ol belly... I don't have any hips anymore... they disappeared when my belly grew! HA HA HA

  3. LOL> I dance rhythmlessly anyway. At least being pregnant gave me an excuse!

  4. Nice dress. :) You're hilarious.


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