My brain is not totally fried from having taken care of a sick husband and an active toddler this past weekend, so bare with me here. But I need some free therapy from the unfortunate incidents I do remember, so here goes ...
Last week, as I was totally not scurrying to get out the door on time (because I'm so not the kind of mommy who procrastinates while thinking about getting ready to leave the house), I totally did not notice that the toddler's face was an absolute mess from breakfast and immediately wipe it off. And before we left the house, I so did not catch the dog licking the toddler's dirty face and allow him to continue. And then I absolutely did not walk out the door without wiping the dog germs off the toddler's face because the toddler's face looked clean. Nope, not me!
Speaking of germs, I did not ban the toddler from touching his weeny this week because he kept exploring it while using the potty. And I did not threaten to withhold his vitamins if he didn't stop touching his weeny while going to the bathroom. I'm a good mom who nevereverever lets a little bit of pee germs get to her and who wouldn't try to bribe her kid with vitamins to use the bathroom and then threaten to withhold said vitamins for disobeying.
I have not been craving chocolate during this pregnancy (normally I hate it) so much that I made myself successfully rid the house of all of it by making my husband take it to work and unloading on my friends with small children. And I without a doubt never ever would have gotten so desperate for just a single bite of chocolate that I would have spent 10 minutes digging through half a box of cookies and cream ice cream looking for any tiny morsel of cookie in an insane attempt to find even a small piece of chocolate. And I certainly would not have almost chucked the box across the room after not finding a single chocolate cookie piece.
When my dear husband fell really sick this weekend with the flu virus, I did not demand to know why he waited until the weekend to get sick sick instead of getting sick during the week. And, because I didn't think I could take care of two sick and fatigued boys and get sick myself (because I always seem to catch everything while pregnant), I did not ban the toddler from snuggling with his bid-ridden daddy.
And I did not lose snuggle ban war because I became so exhausted trying to keep the to snuggle monsters apart that I thought it would be easier to just let the two cuddle and deal with the consequences. No way! I'm not at all for taking the convenient way out sometimes.