Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Bad Mommy Weekly: First Edition

Ryan Ashley Scott is brilliant; this post is exactly what I need today and, well, what I've needed almost every day for the past two weeks or so. Visit her at Optimistic Cynicism to play along.

The toddler has been the epitome of disagreeable these past two weeks. He has pushed every limit I've ever set. He has purposefully peed in places pee should never be peed. He has pinched my ear repeatedly instead of rubbing it just because I say "ouch, that hurts mommy!" And he has eaten dog treats just because I asked him not to eat those treats. Today it's been worse than what it has been: he has repeatedly thrown toys at my face, repeatedly climbed on my aching back despite my yelps that he's hurting me and disobeyed almost every request I've given him all day. But this post isn't called the Bad Toddler Weekly. Nope, it's called the Bad Mommy Weekly. And I've been a bad mommy today because I've reached my limit.

I'm currently hiding in the bathroom with both doors shut because he just won't stop bullying me, and I have run out of options.

I'm waiting for my hubby to get home and hoping he arrives in the next 30 minutes. This probably makes me a bad mommy but the toddler is safely playing in his play room, and I just don't know how to deal with his direct defiance any more today.

This seemed like a more appropriate idea than what was happening merely ten minutes ago. Ten minutes ago he managed to lock himself in the bathroom with all of the lights off ... there are no windows in our bathroom either, so he was submerged in darkness just sitting on the rug next to the sink. I had a very peaceful five minutes until he asked me to let him out. I might have ignored the first request. And then I felt guilty, so I went over to the door and used a hanger to unlock it from the outside.

And then he climbed on my back for a second time and injured my hip after I asked him to stop. And I finally hit the wall. So here I am in the bathroom. And here I will stay until the enforcer gets here.

In the meantime, if anyone has any ideas as to how I can get my normally really sweet toddler to return, give them to me! Please! I beg of you!


  1. I've hid in the bathroom too. Child rearing is tough for everyone. You're not a bad mommy at all. He's just testing your limits. All of my kids still do that on a regular basis. I hope your enforcer comes home soon. Your little guy will be sweet again in an hour or two, I bet. They all go through these phases. I wish I had some advice. I still wonder what to do sometimes when kids get all riled up.

  2. First off, it's normal. Not that it helps at this point, but if you're like me, you might be crossing your fingers that he's not showing signs of growing up to be a serial killer. (Yep, I'm BAD). Depending on the situation, I would either turn my back to him (if he was just testing me) or make him sit on my lap and hug him tight (if he needed to be comforted - and he would cry and thrash through much of the hug, fighting the comfort). Unfortunately, it will likely get worse before it gets better. Kids bulk when you block their schemes (surpise, surprise!).

    You are a fabulous Mommy. In my opinion, it's also normal to lock yourself in the bathroom when you're overwhelmed. Totally. It beats knocking the snot out of them!

    Thanks for playing. :)

  3. may i suggest my favorite...spoken in a flat, serious tone with matching plain one eye brow raised expression..."Toddler Not Today" and walk away. when he tries you again repeat as needed and walk away. keep your conversation to a minimum. do not nag. do not make requests. just plain statements. when a toddler whips out of control you need to be as clear as possible.
    if you have had enough ask hubby to stay home one day and you get mommy free day...

  4. Okay, I am SO not going to attempt to throw my hat in the ring with these fabulous mothers. I will say, however, that I hope that you have locked yourself in, with the lights off, and are sitting on the rug next to the sink. Now ask the Toddler to get you out. :)

  5. Good luck. Any chance you can get him out of the house for a playdate with someone so he has somewhere else to channel his energy and focus? I don't envy you, especially with the baby trying to spoil plans for you, which makes doing EVERYthing harder for you. And tell that baby to stay where he's at still!

  6. Oh no! As much as I loved this post, but only for your writing skill, my heart ached for you as I read it. I too have a typically sweet-as-sugar son. And then the other day on his 2nd orientation at his new school, just him and the teacher, he threw a curveball that had me wanting to disown him, "Nope, that's not MY son." He turned completely. Screaming, saying "no" repeatedly to any request made of him, not listening, etc. All to the point where the teacher turned to me and said, "Is this his normal behaviour?" I wanted to hide in the bathroom too! But I'm guessing in this situation, he was trying to figure out who was boss, me or her. And in your situation, sounds like the same, only it's a showdown between the two of you. My advice would echo thekidwhisperer's. Say little, do little but say and do it like you MEAN it. And ditto to what Michelle said, try to arrange a playdate so he can release some of that pent-up energy with another little one. You sound like a wonderful Mommy, the kind I aspire to. Keep on keepin' on. Only two more sleeps to your lake vacay (say that over and over again!) May the force be with you, J


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