Yesterday, after my Great Aunt Lisa's wake, I did not start having massivley insane contractions while the hubby was driving us home in heavy traffic on Interstate 294. And while I was having said contractions, my over-emotional state of mind had not nearly convinced that I was going to push a baby out in our Highlander on I-294 after hubby informed me that they were two minutes apart while lasting 45-60 seconds. I did not start to think of all the ways I could try to hold the baby in like one would hold pee when one really, really has to go because I was determined to have a homebirth, darnit, not a car birth!
And because hubby and I are totally calm and collected during very unexpected and strange circumstances, like the onset of labor at only 36 weeks, we so did not speed home instead of heading straight to a hospital at our midwife's advice.
Also, the thought never crossed my mind that I was sort of glad we were in heavy traffic because if the baby were coming right then and there, at least I wouldn't have to deliver in the scary hospital. I am a completely sane pregnant woman who is not terrified of hospitals and who would never have preferred delivering her baby in the car instead of having her baby in a germy hospital where the beds move when you don't want them to and people are sick!
Upon arriving home, I so did not secretly enjoy sipping the glass of wine our midwife suggested I consume to try and stop the contractions despite the overwhelming pain the contractions caused, because, you know, I hadn't had a sip since before Christmas.
Finally, after a few intense hours of contractions, my midwife suggested we head to the hospital, and because I am the epitome of a good patient, I so did not call her seven times begging to wait it out at home and give the wine more time to kick in before heading all the way to the hospital; and I did not cry out in reliefe when she finally conceded and agreed that I didn't have to go.
And now, I am definitely not stuck on light rest again until at least Friday when it would be safer for the baby to be born and we could proceed with our homebirth plans. And because I am not a total hospital phobe and do not want to send myself into early labor as result of activity, I have so not resigned to letting the toddler entertain himself in whatever ways he chooses. So he is currently not totally ruling the roost and making a mess of my formerly clean and perfectly nested home while I sit on the birthing ball in the middle of the living room willing his baby brother to stay inside for just a few more days so we can try to have the homebirth I really would love to have.
Oh, boy, I really need to get over this fear of the hospital because it would surely serve its purpose in the event of an emergency.