Monday, September 14, 2009

Not Me! Monday: Can I blame this on post-labor hormone level drops?

Need some cheap therapy? Welcome to Not Me Monday, a blog posting phenomenon created by MckMama as a way to confess everything you so did not do during the past week.

I was hoping after the baby was born, all the weird hormones flooding my body would magically disappear immediately upon delivering the baby ... as you will see, that has not been the case because this Not Me! Monday was sickeningly easy to write. Without further ado ...

The lady who took her newborn baby to the doctor for baby's post-delivery check up and stepped on the scale to weigh her post-partum body merely four days after delivering was definitely not me. And that lady, after being scolded by two nurses and a doctor for weighing herself so soon, did not retort that "knowledge was motivation" when that lady knows that she is not to do, um, like, anything that could burn calories other than breastfeed and breathe during the first two weeks post partum, thus making her answer purely comical and invalid. She so wasn't me. Poor, poor lady.

In a desperate attempt to lessen the amount of poopy and pee-filled diapers that seem to be overflowing and abundant in this house, my hubs and I have not resorted to uping the level of bribery with the toddler, who has, by the way, completely disregarded any knowledge of potty learning for the past two weeks now. We have not played on his natural love for coins and taught him that if he has a enough coins he can buy an Elmo cookie at our favorite coffee shop for the mere purpose of trying to coerce him into using the potty in return for those coins and ultimately his beloved Elmo cookie. Nope, those parents are not us!

Speaking of desperation, I have not resorted to giving the newborn diaper-free time on the floor during the daytime in hopes the cooler air shock his little butt so he will wake up and hopefully re channel his sleeping efforts into a time slot that better suites my sleeping time -- like, say, you know, when it's dark. I'm not the type of mommy who would do this to her newborn just because she needs a certain amount of sleep every night while it's dark in order to function like a normal human being during the day and not be thrown into crying fits while lying helpless on the floor. No way! I am stronger than sleep!

I did not cave into my cravings and food desires the morning after the baby was born and ask my husband for a decaf pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks and a carrot muffin from the local coffee shop bakery (two forbidden pregnancy foods) for breakfast even though I know I'm supposed to continue to eat my pregnancy diet while breastfeeding. When my husband asked if I wanted to eat eggs, too, like I have every other morning for the past nine months of my life, I did not sarcastically respond "does it look like I have a baby in my belly anymore?" And I have not eaten the very-forbidden whole grain cereal I love every morning since the baby's birth because if I have to look at an egg in any form -- scrambled, omelet, hard boiled-- I may just heave it across the room ... along with the rest of the carton. That totally would never be me because I am not some crazy post-partum lady who harbors a vengeance for something as unimportant as eggs.


  1. Oh sweetie. It gets better, I promise! Things will settle down, the baby will get on a schedule, your son will potty train, and the pounds will start dropping off. Especially since you're breast feeding. Hang in there girl!

  2. Hee hee... now that's a fun week :)

    But umm carrots are bad on pregnancy diet? And no whole grains? Are you with my chiro on the Pal-something diet? Do share!

  3. I was only strict with my diet for the last 10 weeks and had to eat chocolate cake post-partum.

    eggs suck.

  4. I know that it's crazy now. You'll get through it :) I can't believe that you got on that scale. I would've ran the other way for sure. I still do :)


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