Friday, October 9, 2009

The Difference Between Mommies and Daddies: Top ten reasons you NEED a girlfriend

10. Shoe shopping isn't nearly as exciting when you have to explain to your exasperated hubby that, "yes, there is a difference between a wedge and heels; no, it's not just the difference in price; and no, you cannot wear your brown heels with a black dress to your cousin's wedding; so, yes, you really do need to choose between the wedges and the heels, and do you think the wedges make me look to cheerleader-in-high-schoolish?"

9. Your husband's only thoughts about fashion manifest the night before he goes hunting and he's parading around in his turkey-hunting vest wondering if it would be better to sport this season's new vest while he's wandering around alone in the woods at the crack of dawn searching for some gobblers.

8. You need someone to escape with after your home turns into a sporting arena filled with men who are shouting at TV as if the Bears' quarterback could actually hear their grunts, groans and critiques.

7. It's highly important to have someone with whom to commiserate after you've cleaned pee off of every square inch within a ten foot radius of the toilet because aiming and hitting the bulls eye apparently doesn't happen for the big or little men in your life during the middle of the night.

6. Most of us wives can only take so many movie nights that feature viewings of Star Trek/Lord of the Rings/anything starring Chuck Norris.

5. Most of us mamas can only take so many movie nights that feature viewings of Cars/Dora/Elmo.

4. After your toddler fills his diaper with a smelly surprise, removes said diaper and begins spoon feeding the contents of the diaper to his stuffed animals and decorating the walls, you need someone you fully trust who can at a moments notice take your tiny two-year-old tornado to her house for a play date while you bleach every square inch of the "feeding" zone and deep clean your cream-colored carpets. And you need to trust that someone will bring your child home in one piece if he should happen to do the same thing at her place.

3. You need someone to speak "adult" with during the day. Otherwise the highly irritating yet addictive language -- the one where every adjective used is "little" or "yucky" or "cute" and most nouns end with a "y"-- most mommies speak to baby becomes the sole language used in every occasion with every person, including your husband or boss -- "Awww, does Johnny's little heady have an ouchy after a yucky day of worky?"

2. It's refreshing to be able to discuss any baby or toddler poop concerns -- consistency, smell and color -- with someone who is
A. not your doctor
B. not your thoroughly-grossed-out husband
and
C. doesn't think you're crazy because she's had the same thoughts a time or two with her own babes during the past 24 hours.

1. Because no matter how much you love your munchkins and man, they cannot give you a bra recommendation, discuss lactation and menstruation while gleaning from past experience or fully understand the heart and essence of a mommy and wife.

If you don't have one already, get yourself a girlfriend or two! I couldn't live sanely without mine.

4 comments:

  1. I'd like to say a big old AMEN to that! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amen. I love my girlfriends.

    Sports though? My husband is relegated to another floor of the house. With a door closed. I keep telling him he missed his calling as a color commentator. And unfortunately, he MISSED it, so give it up ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome post! You're so right. It can be true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. My husband's interests don't necessarily "rock my world" :) I miss spending time with my girlfriends. I'm way too much in mama zone these days. So glad that I have my bloggy buddies.

    ReplyDelete

There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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