Friday, October 16, 2009

Letters of Intent: Oh, the things you will explain

Letters of Intent


Dear Dr. Seuss,

Thank you so much for writing kids books that are insanely long and beloved by my two year old. Thank you for making those books rhyme is weird ways, helping me to sound like a total and complete idiot while I'm reading them.

And most of all, in your book, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, thank you so much for coming up with "the one hump wump" on which the little boy in the story rides. Really, thank you for this invention because my two year old thinks it's marvelous. In fact, he thinks it's so wonderful he has begun jumping on the dog's back declaring that he is riding his own one-hump wump. But at least that's in the privacy of our own home where we can usher him away from his "wump" and find him something more appropriate to ride like, say, a bike. I suppose you couldn't find anything fun that ryhmes with bike? I know; the words hump and wump are insanely hilarious.

But your wump idea doesn't stay contained in our home, dear Dr. Suess. No, no, no. Our dear toddler has an amazing memory and imagination, and he takes both of them with us everywhere we go. In fact, Dr. Seuss, while we were at the chiropractor, I felt a rather large, rather dense and rather heavy body crawl on top of mine while I was face down with my head in hole on the chiropractic table. And Dr. Seuss, I know you have a great imagination yourself, but I doubt you never would have imagined that my two year old would have taken inspiration from your book and announced to our chiropractor, who had momentarily turned her back to me in an attempt to console the baby mid adjustment, that he was riding his new one-wump hump. "Your what?" she asked, apparently confused.
"My one-hump wump," he exclaimed.
"Umm, honey," I said. "Mommy is not a one-hump wump; mommy is a mommy. Please get down."
[Insert awkward silence]
Thank you, Dr. Seuss, for allowing me to educate our chiropractor about one-hump wumps and assuring her that it was found in your beloved book and that my toddler was not growing up in some strange, highly odd household. Really, thanks for that.

Sincerely,
Your number one "wump"

Need to get something off your chest and write your own letter? Link up at FourSons and then read everyone elses' letters.

10 comments:

  1. lol, wumps are wonderful. They go everywhere! ;) At least you're not the seven hump wump!

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  2. Oh man, I am going to remember not to add that book to my kids' collection! One week my son brought home "The Lorax" from the school library ...Good story, good message, sure... but was it ever looong (and full of weird nonsense words as well)! I was so glad when that one went back! There is definitely such a thing as TOO much creativity!

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  3. Love it! Shel Silverstein's "Don't Bump the Glump" is even more that way for older kids.

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  4. Okay, I am snorting over here! I personally always HATED Dr. Seuss and ALL things "who" and such. He was just on some kind of bad trip. LOVE this story!

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  5. Dr. Seuss books are insanely long and way to difficult for early readers to even attempt. Seriously, I never read them to my kids. It was to much work!

    Love that you linked up with all the hustle and bustle (Dr. Seuss inspired right there!) of a 2 year old and a newborn.

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  6. I love how you write! What a great idea for a post. Reading Dr. Seuss can be a workout some nights. My kids would always ask questions about the text. Sometimes I wasn't sure how to explain that whole Seuss world :)

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  7. Oh how I love
    To read your little quips.
    I cannot wait til mine's of age
    And makes his own awkward slips.
    Until then, I must sit
    As you relate of your wumps
    So I don't fall from laughter
    And end up with bruises and bumps.
    Please continue sharing
    All the joys of mommy-Dom
    Because you have a knack
    For expressing your wisdom.

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  8. Yes but at least you can explain that one away. It's awfully hard to explain away a toddler walking around and announcing to people whether they have peni or vagini.

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  9. I'm not sure I agree with Michelle above because...well, let's just think about the picture described at the chiropractor's office, and let's think about the term "hump," and then we can see how closely it relates to Michelle's problem and how it might not be so easily explained away! Eeek!

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There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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