Dear Mr. Graco Swing with the weird little animal pattern,
I love you like the crazy my kids drive me.
Today, you have made having two children easier than I've ever imagined. You must have some secret kind of charm with your constant motion and your rickety crickety motor sounds because little baby EJ has been out like a light several times today for more than ten minute increments. You see, baby EJ really, really likes to be moving at all times, so you've allowed me to do many things including but not limited to
*peeing in the toilet instead of nearly wetting my pants as I'm simultaneously trying to pull said pants down, keep the baby in a constant jiggle while nestled in my arms and squat
*making a dinner that requires more than pulling something out of the fridge and pressing buttons on the microwave
*showering for the first time in, oh, three or four days and
*reading that stupid Dr. Seuss book at least 17 times in a row to a very happy older brother
Normally, you see, I have to walk around the house with the baby nestled happily cooing away in my arms or in a carrier in order to accomplish my daily tasks; this works out fine so long as I never stop moving. And that's where you've got me and the hundreds of dollars worth of baby carriers I bought beat; the mommy simply runs out of steam and needs a break from lugging around the 12-pound 1.5 month old. And carriers only move as much as the person they are tied to. You, Mr. Graco Swing, never cease to stop moving. You are a moving machine, like, literally. And baby EJ loves that about you.
I know, Mr. Graco Swing, that when my first baby was born, I carelessly tossed you aside for those baby carriers like a frat boy drops his empty beer can on the ground when he finds out there is a keg at the party, and for that, I sincerely appologize. Those years in the basement must have been chilly and dreary, but the first baby prefered those expensive, fancy schmancy carriers. I'm happy for you because this baby seems to really enjoy the cheap plastic animals that are stuck to your cheap plastic tray and your ability to never tire from continuous movement. But I just want you to know, if I had batteries, I could do that, too.
So you win for now. But I'm keeping my stash of dozens of carriers because you cannot take the baby to any cool places like to park or the zoo ... but you can take him to the land of sleep and dreams during the day. And for now, I'll take it.
A very tired babywearing Mommy
Dear fellow babywearers,
Please don't vote to demote me from my leadership role in our group just because I've gone over to the dark side. I'm tired. I cannot move all day long. I promise to wrap baby EJ two times per day for the rest of the month to make up for my swing affinity. I swear, this whole swing thing -- it means nothing to me -- nothing! Please don't hold an intervention and confiscate all of my carriers and redistribute them to more deserving, dedicated babywearing mothers. I swear -- this is a one-time thing. It'll never happen again. Really.
Your very tired,swing-loving co-leader
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