Here are a few of my favorite toddlerisms from vacation ...
Me: "Honey, please don't pick up your brother by his head. Let go."
2.5 Year Old, sighs, stops what he's doing and looks at me incredulously: "I'm not, mommy."
Me: "It's not nice to lie."
2.5 Year Old, sighs, "I'm picking him up by his neck."
Me: "If you take your brother's toy away, you're going to sit in time out."
2.5 Year Old: "If you not nice to me I huff and I puff and I blow your house down, mommy!"
2.5 Year Old asked to go the bathroom while we were lunching at T-Rex, a dinosaur-themed restaurant at Disney's Pleasure Island. I immediately picked up and carried him to the bathroom only to discover after shutting the stall that he had kicked his shoes off during lunch.
"Ugh, kid," I groaned. "You kicked your shoes off. Now how are you going to pee?"
"Silly mommy! I no need shoes to pee," he announced loudly and proudly. "I have a weenie like daddy to pee! I no pee out of my butt like mommies."
I immediately regretted all of anatomy lessons we've had during the past few months when we exited the stall and found ourselves surrounded by little girls and their mothers, who I'm sure were just ecstatic that they now were afforded the opportunity to explain the conversation they'd all just overheard during their Disney World vacation. Supposed it will make the scrapbooks under the lunch at the dinosaur restaurant page for anyone? But, seriously, if looks could kill, I'd have been dinosaur lunch.
Me: "Honey, can you please thank grandma for dinner tonight? It was so nice of her to take us out."
2.5 Year Old, loudly, dramatically and ironically seriously, "I can't. I'm just too shy."
Yup, that must be it.