Friday, March 26, 2010

Letters of Intent: Whose teeth are these?


Dear Darling 2.5 Year Old,

I know there are a lot of things that you don't quite understand yet; please be patient -- I'm doing my best to explain as you question. I know some things are completely mystifying to your 2.5 year-old-brain. And I appologize, I really do, for my serious lack of explanatory abilities. I know you think I'm totally crazy and totally wrong sometimes when I try to let you in on the many wonders of the world.
Like yesterday when you brought me my clear plastic dental retainer and inquisitively asked "Mommy, whose teeth are these?" And I tried really hard to explain that they weren't teeth rather it was a teeth holder for mommy's teeth? And, you know, you looked at me like I just told you Curious George was an elephant rather than a monkey or something equally absurd? And then you demanded me to open my mouth "right now!" and put my teeth back in because germs were going to get on them? And remember how you stomped your foot on the ground and crossed your arms in utter disbelief when I told you I only wear my retainer at night because didn't I know that if there was ever a time to wear my teeth it would be "during the day when we eats lunch and dinner?"
Yeah, I know you think I'm trying to pull one over on you, buddy. I know you think I'm secretly harboring information about how your teeth are actually removable, which would then preclude you from having to ever put your Elmo toothrbrush inside your mouth. But, I swear, my teeth are a permanent fixture in my mouth and will continue to be as long as I have the muscle power to apply toothpaste to my toothbrush and swish back and forth. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about yours because I have to tackle you WWF style, pry open your little jaws and scrub those bad boys through the wailing and screaming and crying
Perhaps your goal is one day to have removable teeth? If that's the case, keep up with the brushing ban and trantruming whenever I pull out your toothbrush; you'll get your fake teeth, but they won't look like my retainer. And then, I guarentee, you won't be asking "Hey, whose teeth are these?". Because we'll know they are yours, you little anti-teeth-brushing-I'd-rather-make-mommy-tie-me-up-like-a-wild-hog-than-have-clean-teeth dear child.

Your flossing, brushing, real-teeth sporting mommy


  1. chuckle - I love that they have a SENSE of logic and have no qualms about thinking we're idiots.

  2. Hahahaha. I can laugh because I've been the WWF champion in my house a time or two. And the trophy was sparkling clean teeth. I love that boy's mind. He is so inquistive and soaks it all up like a sponge.

    Thanks for linking up, I hope he takes your letter seriously!


    That was awesome. Two year olds are awesome. LOL

  4. Two year olds CRACK ME UP, every time!!!

  5. :)
    I have a partial denture (my teeth are bizarre... long story...) but it's for my bottom two front teeth (not that you'd EVER want to know that!) and my kids are fascinated when they see it. I really don't know how to explain it!

    I love how you write these letters!

  6. LOL.

    I needed a laugh this morning!

  7. ah yes... vince has noticed my braces and tries to grab them, bewildered. He also has to be FORCED to brush his teeth every. single. day.

    are these two boys related?

  8. Well, you HAVE to know that for pretty obvious reasons, I just LOVED this post. You might want to tell your sweet 2.5 year old that you have a dentist friend who totally supports your efforts in saving those cute little teeth of his....never mind...he's 2.5...he's not going to care ;-D
    Very wonderful writing.

  9. Too funny! It is entertaining to see their perceptions and try to explain things to them like that. Have you taken him to the dentist yet? That was our tipping point between hating having our teeth brushed and being sure they were brushed often enough. (Thank goodness!)

  10. Oh my. Hearty laughter from Sweden. "Sweetie, we have to clean your teeth or they'll turn yellow and fall out of your mouth and you'll never be able to eat candy again AND you'll talk like this (me pulling my lips over my teeth and talking like my Grandma when she forgets to put in her dentures)". And little man turns white as a sheet and says (the same way the lead character in the horror movie says: "He's behind you" to the chick whose about to get her head axed): "Mommy YOUR teeth are yellow!!!" Score 1 for the little man. Mommy on the phone making an emergency appt for a cleaning.


There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.