Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tuesdays Unwrapped: Ham and cheese with a side of forgiveness and gratitude

It's happened again.
I've let busy get the best of me -- literally. Busyness has found its way back inside our life and has been getting my best again. It's been getting the best of what I have to offer my children, my husband, my Heavenly Father.
We awoke rushed.
We rushed out of bed.
Rushed to get breakfast.
Rushed to get dressed.
Rushed to be ready for our play date and then rushed to make it to a phone-call meeting I had gotten roped into having on an at-home day.
And you know what happens when your actions are rushed, right? Words follow suit ever so closely.
Instead of asking nicely, you demand.
Instead of gently teaching, you bark orders.
Instead of redirecting, you force.
Instead of understanding, you snap.
It's never pretty when I find myself in the thick of the thistles and thorns of busyness and rushing.
My two and half year old was dragging his feet on washing his hands as I scurried to get lunch on the table.
I demanded he washed his hands.
He ignored me.
I barked at him to wash his hands.
He ever-so-slowly wandered over toward the sink.
Impatience overtook my body, in true rushed spirit, and I forced him to wash him hands by picking him up and plopping him on a chair in front of the sink.
He merely let a few drops of water drip over his fingers.
I snapped.
"WASH YOUR HANDS OR NO LUNCH!" I yelled, clearly exasperated.
So he washed his hands. Finally. Of course, as I hurried to get his lunch before my call, he climbed into his chair and waited.
When I sat down next to him to inhale something quickly, he took a big bite of his ham and cheese.
"I love ham and cheese, mama," he said. "Thank you for my lunch."
Right there (and now as I type) my heart exploded with love for my little guy as it simultaneously broke for him and for me and for my husband and for my Heavenly Father. Because right there, in the midst of busyness, rushing, craziness, I saw splendid beauty. I recognized simple contentedness and heartfelt gratitude. I saw love in his little eyes and subsequent forgiveness, though, I didn't deserve it.
I reached out, touched his sweet little face and thanked him for reminding mommy to be kind. And to slow down. And to be blissfully content and so grateful for the simple but oh-so-important things.
Right there, over ham and cheese while we were seated at a cluttered dining room table, I found the best of me brought out by the best of him.
And this time, I'm clutching, clinging to it. Because the busyness doesn't deserve to ever deserve to get the best of me again.
But he sure does.

10 comments:

  1. All too familiar :)
    Thank goodness the little ones know when we need the words the most!

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  2. You are an amazing mother. I know I've said it before, but I truly, truly mean it.

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  3. I'm afraid I'm there too often. How blessed we are that our children our patience with us.

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  4. I cried while reading this and am still crying. I know this scenario so well Hyacynth. It was on "repeat" at our house the past week and I too was brought out of my fury by a big ray of sunshine. I love what Corinne wrote.

    This post could not have come at a better time for me. Big hugs to you and the sunshine of your love! xoxo

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  5. Beautifully written...and SO true! I'm learning (or is it relearning...) to slow down and enjoy the moments with my babies. Someday I will miss all their chatter and energy when they are grown and living lives of their own.

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  6. So true! The business of the lives full of experiences and learning we create for our little ones often gets the better of us! How incredibly sweet your little guy is!

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  7. This is such a beautiful look at motherhood.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  8. You are so insightful. I really feel what you're saying here. I think that I'm always going full storm. It's important to get past the hurry and just enjoy being in the moment with your family. You're terrific Hyacynth!!

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  9. so lovely-- thank you for the reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment :)

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  10. @Corinne, yeah, about that... how DO they know?? Always a humbling experience.

    @Foursons, Thank you. Just thank you.

    @Rose, Yes, I feel so blessed, especially since lately I feel so undeserving because of my impatience.

    @SwedishJenn, You are probably the 12th mom who has said that this past week has been a horrible mommying week. I wonder if it has something to do with the impending season change after being cooped up all winter ... finally all hitting a breaking point? I'm glad we can connect this way and know we're not alone. Big hugs to you! You are so wonderful, and I hope this week is better.

    @Stephanie, thank you. You know, that's a good point-- someday we're going to miss these things.

    @Tara, It's ironic, isn't it? Seriously, ironic.

    @Septembermom, that was so part of my conviction -- when will I NOT be busy if I don't make myself slow down?? When I'm retired?? lol. Thanks for the love, Kelly. :)

    @Hayley, motherhood teaches us so much, doesn't it? Even things we'd rather not know about ourselves.

    @Alisa, thanks for stopping by. Especially enjoy all these moments with just you and Vin. :) You'll look back on them with such love.

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There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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