Friday, May 7, 2010

Everyday Life: In the stillness of shadows

Pearl-sized drops of rain pattered on the window early this morning as baby E stirred in bed, snuggled against the base of my neck.
The constant drum of the rain pulled me out of a dream about baby E. walking and talking in full sentences; clearly, his turning eight months old had played on my mind the day before.
I looked down at baby E., sighed a breathe of relief that it was only a dream. He was still little. He quickly repositioned and drifted back to sleep as just a tiny bit of daybreak wrestled to escape the gray rain clouds and then struggled to peak in through the blinds.
In that moment, as I lie in bed next to my now-eight-month-old baby, I noticed the walls were half lit and half submerged in shadows. I glanced back at my little one, noticing his in betweenness.
Still small, snuggled against my body, searching for warmth, comfort, love, but simultaneously struggling to break out from behind the cloud of baby and peak into a new world of movement and language and independence.
From the time we're tiny until even now, in my 27th year, we're always in state of limbo, a constant stream of movement; we're always in between the dusk of the pre-dawn light and the shadows of night, edging our way close to the light.
But I think, when we're little, it's the only time someone else is praying for us to linger in the stillness of shadows just a little bit longer, snuggle under the covers for just a few more minutes, before we break through the clouds and spill into full-fledged sunlight.


  1. Wow...your words are amazing. Thanks so much for sharing!

  2. It went by too fast...My little man is almost 4 and I long for that precious and precarious moment you so beautifully described.

  3. That was absolutely beautiful. Your writing hits a fellow mommy in the heart in a very good (and longing)kind of way.

  4. Oh that was me, heather of the eo :)

  5. Wow...beautiful Hyacynth! I feel the same way about Maya...but she's now 14 months and getting more "big girl" like everyday. But still, when she's asleep, she's still my little baby snuggled in my arms! And you're so very right...we are always in some sort of transitory state!

    Happy Mother's Day, Hyacynth!

  6. Awww... I'm so there with you. Even now, there are times I wish I could snuggle down into the depths of childhood or someone taking care of me.


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