Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Toddlerisms: And she did NOT push him down the stairs

Best of the toddler from the holiday weekend:

We visited my grandparents this weekend, and 2.5-year-old G. was utterly enthralled with my Papa's cast. My grandfather fell down the stairs about a month ago and broke his leg; he's now sporting a hard cast and using crutches, which is oh-so-very cool when you're 2.5 years old. G., in normal fashion, asked a bazillion questions about how and why and when Papa broke his leg. Apparently, my grandparents did their best to answer them. In fact, they did so great of a job, he's had no problem explaining the situation to many, many people.

G., motioning to a long, thigh-length sock that came with his snuggie**: "Ms. Cherie, this is my hard cast because I fell down and broke my leg just like my Papa."
Ms. Cherie, our friend who watches the boys: "Both of you broke your legs?"
G: "Yes! My Papa fell down the basement stairs and broke his leg and now he has a cast. And it is NOT because my Grandma Jean pushed him! He just fell."

Um, Grandma Jean? Next time you joke around with the toddler, remember that he takes things very literally and shares such new-found information liberally. And loudly.

****
You know how much G. loves Curious George; he'll watch that cute little monkey as often as he can. He's like an addict. Everywhere he goes, he sees George, he talks to George and he includes George in our our activities. Everywhere.

My sister has a new friend; his name is also George. You know, like the very curious monkey, but, well, not.
George, the human not the monkey, came over to my mom's house while we were there. So my sister was courteous and introduced all of us, including G.
"This is my friend, George," my sister told G.
G. stared at him incredulously and then looked at me like my sister had lost every single one of her marbles.
"Can you say 'Nice to meet you, George.'?" she asked.
He just giggled and looked at the poor guy.
So my sister and George, again, the human one, continued wrapping the present they were supposed to be transporting to a wedding at that very minute.
Finally, G. says, "Well, where's your friend?"
None of us know exactly what he's talking about so we continue chatting.
So he G. says louder, "Um, where is George's friend? Mom, where is he?"
"Who? Who are you talking about?" I ask.
You guessed it.
"The Man in the Yellow Hat!" he says as though he were explaining something completely obvious.

Duh, mommy.

****
I'm in the bathroom. G. bursts in the door because, you know, no one can pee in peace around this place.
"Mommy, why are you sitting? Are you pooping?"
"No, honey, I'm peeing. Mommies have to sit while they pee because mommies don't have weenies."
"Oh, OK."

Two hours later, Buba and Grandma are here for dinner. G. announces he must go potty and runs to the bathroom. Ten seconds later he is bellowing for his father.

My hubby appeases him and goes to the bathroom to see what all of the hollering is about.
"Oh, do you need me to wipe your butt because you pooped?" we hear hubby ask.
"No, I'm trying to pee!" G. loudly announces.
"Why are you sitting?" hubby asks. "You normally kneel."
"Silly, daddy! G.s have to sit while they pee. G.s don't have weenies!"

Back to the drawing board on that one. Ugh. What do I need? To diagram this out for the kid?

****

Speaking of weenies, form your own conclusions about this one:


There is an overwhelming amount of testosterone in this house. Relatedly, I'm going to have quite a bit of fun at my boys' weddings.

**I did NOT buy him a Snuggie, just so we're clear. It was a gift ... a gift he really, really loves. Sigh. Am I the only mom who has a two year old who is obsessed with hats and shoes and coats and blanket-coats? Is that even a real thing?

9 comments:

  1. I love the bit about the stairs :) Too funny! And of course, the George stuff, because there is no George humor lost on anyone in our home either!

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  2. He is such a hoot! Love that boy.

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  3. such a cute story that grandma did NOT push grandpa! they are so literal!

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  4. the weenies story made me laugh, sometimes you feel like you're being really clear about something just to find out later that the point didn't really... stick.

    this is my future, to be trapped in a house with boys.

    at least it's a funny one.

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  5. Hysterical! Seriously! It is such a fun, fun age!

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  6. I seriously love all the things kids say...they crack me up. The George one, so classic!

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  7. Baaahahahaha, wow, I about peed on that one!! Thanks for sharing =-)

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  8. LOL Thanks for the laugh. My 2 year old is also obsessed with blankets and shoes and hats. He's more into swaddling now than when he was a baby.

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