Sunday, August 1, 2010

Thinking, That's All: A wedding of memories and my mind

Our wedding day remains in my mind a blur of soft pink dress pressed against black tuxes set to the acoustic melodies of Such Great Heights laced with hints of fresh stargazer lilies.

Though I sometimes replay tiny scenes in my mind, I remember the day mostly from pictures taken with other people’s cameras and stories told by our guests.

I know it was nearly 100 degrees in garden where we exchanged vows.

I know I fanned my dress out several times over the top of a box fan to cool off in the bride’s room of the old mansion at which we wed.

I recall bursting into tears at the very sight of John’s best man as I walked outside to begin my trip down the aisle to pledge my heart to my groom.

I floated on air as I danced with my father to Eric Clapton’s Layla {which was almost my name, according to my late dad}.

And I remember my step brother coming in just before dinner asking when prohibition would end as the bar was temporarily closed.

Beyond that, the details are fuzzy and easily blend together into a whirlwind of traditions and firsts and conversations and lips pressed against our cheeks and tiny moments of overwhelming love exchanged between my new groom and me … everything mixed in a cacophony of emotions – laughter, tears, smiles, heart explosions and stomach butterflies.

That is, it’s all so very blurry until we venture to another couple’s wedding … somehow our friends’ weddings always, always, always conjure up memories I didn’t know I had about our very own wedding, nearly five years ago this September.

Maybe it’s the overarching tone of love carrying echoing through the church throughout every second of the ceremony.

Or maybe it’s the general elation of a glowing bride and excited groom.

Or the white dress clutching the bride’s body at every curve.

Or the vibrant bouquets.

Or the eagerness of others to wish the couple well and snap just one more picture.

Or perhaps it’s everything, altogether, at once, like the strings coming together with the brass and guitars and percussion to make one beautiful love song.

Whatever it is, this Saturday’s wedding was no different.

It left me breathless, heart palpitating, eyes watering all while clutching my husband’s hand, his titanium wedding band gently shining beneath the soft lighting of the dimmed spotlights.

As the bride and groom clutched hands for the first time as husband and wife, and the groom looked into his new bride’s eyes, my mind flashed back to the first moment John and I joined our hands together as one.

He'd looked at me, tears welling around his cornflower blue eyes and reached for my hand to walk me back down the aisle, through the paths surrounded by flowers and friends and family. And I saw his wedding band shining, as it caught rays of afternoon sunlight, just as it was right then as the couple exited the church.

Instantly, I remembered exactly how wholly and truly and deeply and passionately I love this man.

Nearly five years, two babies, one dog, one house and one business later, and I find my heart still flutters as he laces his fingers through mine; it still skips a beat when I see the light reflect off of his wedding ring, just the way it did on the day when he first took my hand as my husband.

Congratulations, Christine and Pat. We’re so honored to have been at your special day.

And thanks for giving me a glimpse back into the pages of the beginning of our own love story, a peek at a moment that is all too easily forgotten amid the diapers and dishes but perfectly remembered under the beautiful, soft lights shedding their glow over hearts bursting with so much love.


  1. Oh that is so beautiful! I LOVE the fact that you're still so much in love with your husband, as so many are definitely not. Keep that flutter forever!

  2. awww, I love that you brought back memories of my own in your post about your wedding and someone else's. you are right...they all seem connected and refresh our memories!

  3. Beautiful! I went wedding dress shopping with my sister and it reminded me of that moment when I tried on THE dress and I just knew it was the ONE. And, it made my hubby and I reminisce about our day almost four years ago (this Thursday!) and made me realize I love this man I married even more than that day four years ago.

  4. This post brought tears to my eyes. And I don't mean that in a "thanks for rubbing it in" kind of way. Really, I'm just so happy for you. Maybe I'll find what you and your husband have. :-)

    (He's a cutie, by the way)

  5. Everything that you write moves me in some amazing way. Everything. In September I will be celebrating 10 years with my own special man. There is admittedly so little I remember from our day. It was special and amazing, but it was so long ago, we were so young. At the time I didn't know how much I would need to revel in the day's moments. I wish I had. I'll be doing a special feature in honour of our 10 year anniversary in September. I'll e-mail you about it, I'd be delighted if you were a part of it.

  6. That was so beautiful, I always cry at weddings, even stories about them.

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