Thursday, September 2, 2010

Bigger Picture Moment: Fire door

Welcome to Bigger Picture Moments, a weekly writing meme where we breathe in the moments that paint a picture of the grander scheme. All moments are welcome in this space -- small or large, as community is just as important as the grander awareness brought on by searching for a bigger picture every week.

Bigger Picture Moment

Please link your moment below, and be sure to link up at Sarah's next Thursday. Before you leave, we hope you'll take a moment to visit a few other friends and spread the love.

When the words are far and few in between on this page, they're actually lodged inside my head, bumping shoulders, stepping on each others' toes, all anxious guests at a packed party inside of a too-small apartment.

And though they were invited guests, welcome guests, my tiny home just cannot accommodate the masses.

Me, the hostess, I'm frazzled, clearly not enjoying the party at all, and my guests?

Well, they are all while praying, praying, praying someone opens the fire door so they can step outside of the sweaty confines of an overcrowded space and into cool night air.

Because like any crowded room, any packed party, it's noisy in there. It's sticky. It's uncomfortable. And it's oppressing.

An over attended party never creates intimacy and conversation; more, it gives way to the whole let's get out of here and find a place where we can talk.

A place where we can listen.

A place where we can breathe.

That coffee shop down the street?


This, friends, this place right here?

This is my coffee shop.

It's a place where all my words, my guests, have the freedom to talk, listen, breathe.

And I want it to be a place where my friends and their own guests can do the same.

I've been desperately missing this place, my coffee shop, and the freedom it gives me to express and create and share and learn and connect because I've been so wrapped up in, well, life.

All the things -- the blessings, the meetings, the encounters, the dates, the playgroups, the outings, the trips, the keeping up with household chores and growing-up-too-fast little ones -- that happen in that majority of time I schedule for life.

But I need a break from that sometimes.

It's sounds funny, but I need a break from life.

I need a break from all of its goodness and all of its overwhelmingness and all of its not-as-goodness.

I need an escape from the packed party.

Lately, I've not been so good at opening the fire door and breaking free from the over-crowded apartment.

Lately, I've been simmering inside the party, sweltering, bumping into the words and thoughts and feelings that poured in the door after they'd been out living life alongside with me.

And thanks to Ellie's post, a good babysitter in the form of my sister and a craft project with my oldest where I became way too emotionally and creatively invested in his sticker project {which, holymoly, those stickers were awesome! Glittery and 3-D and interchangeable. AMAZING!}, I saw the quiet red light over by the fire escape and raced toward it this morning, breaking into the coolness of air as I walked myself here.

To this space.

To talk.

And to listen.

And to breathe.

And to create.

And I'm oh-so glad you're here, too.

Because sometimes when we've been living, living, living, it's good to sit back, create and just simply be.


  1. I'm certain you know how I feel about this. It's so true, at least of those of us who truly love blogging (which I suppose all of us here today do!), but it is a place to just escape life, regroup, breathe and regain our equilibrium. The writing I understand completely, but sometimes I wonder why I feel compelled to share it-our private selves with virtual strangers. Why is that do you think? I've very curious what you think.

  2. I totally understand, my friend. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back and breathe and remember what is really important in this life. It's something I've been convicted of over and over, having said that, I should get off this computer and do my devotions so I can start my day right. Love you, friend

  3. So happy when you take that break and dive in here. It's good... the freeing of the mind ;)

  4. mmm, absolutely. this blogging platform is a quiet respite sometimes, and i'm so thankful for your voice.

  5. I think I'm having trouble seeing and hearing the fire alarm, so I don't even realize I NEED to sneak out the fire door until I'm nearly melting from the heat. It's hard for me to grasp that need, when so many other needs are more tangible and seemingly urgent...but I love that you can quietly slip out, and pour your words here. I love that you invite us to do the same :)

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  7. Love the metaphor - yes! it's pretty crowded here too. I have so much to say but often times, I'm so tired that I don't have the energy to form them into a cohesive post. I don't want them to run rampant all over my blog, but these words need to get out! To taste the fresh air. And live outside of me.

    I hope I won't have to constantly battle fatigue in order to get my thoughts out someday, but until then, they duke it out in my head and fight for space in my forum, my own little corner coffee shop, which I hope you will stop by some time to sit and chat with me too.

    I certainly LOVE it when I'm over at your space. to make that transition to real life... It's been quite a struggle for us hasn't it? :)

  8. this metaphor is just beautiful & I can so relate. I'm so glad this space exists. I basically agree w/ everything This Heavenly Life said. :-)

  9. I absolutely understand. This is my break and my freedom and my venting spot. It gives me the peace to do all the other things I need to do become that much more easy and happily done. Ahhhhhhh.

  10. That's the beauty of blogging isn't it? To break away from real life and meet with some virtual (although real) friends.

  11. Sorry I'm just getting around to this post. Sometimes when I am on a blog reading marathon I will skip your posts so that I can stop and give them the time I want to give them and not just a passing glance.

    Your statement- " I need a break from life"...I felt this. And I felt it about the same point you are at after my dad died. You (me) are so busy immediately after the death, and then you (me)make yourself busy to get through the days. And then you (me) realize that the escape methods you (me) have been using in order to get through each day without crumbling into a mess on the floor are now turning you (me) into a crazed, manic feeling person that needs a break from life. Does that make sense? I'm trying not to project my feelings on you. Hence all the (me)'s, but seriously I walked that road.

    The way I moved past it was to cut out anything in my life that was not a necessity. And that included simple things like making my kids birthday cakes. I bought them at the store even though I always prided myself in the cakes I made them. I needed simple. I needed less stress on me to get everything done. I needed to just survive for awhile and let someone else pick up all the balls I NEEDED to drop in order to find my new normal.

    If I'm way out in left field on this one feel free to ignore me and delete my comment. It won't hurt my feelings one bit. But I'm here (as much as physically possible) if you need an ear.


There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.