Thursday, September 23, 2010

Bigger Picture Moments: I'll be 28 in January {and it shows}

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Welcome to Bigger Picture Moments, a weekly writing meme where we breathe in the moments that paint a picture of the grander scheme. All moments are welcome in this space -- small or large, as community is just as important as the grander awareness brought on by searching for a bigger picture every week.



Bigger Picture Moment



Next week, Sarah will be hosting, so be sure to pay her a visit and link your moment.

I had been wounded.

My already grieving heart, opened up and reinjured.

Tears stung my eyes.

I breathed. I cried. I prayed. I called my mother who offered me lots of love, but who also said she couldn't give me the wisdom I was searching for in this specific situation.

So I called my grandmother, my heart still heavy with hurt and sadness from a conversation I’d ended not an hour before with someone I’ve known for many, many years.

I needed her listening ear, her advice, her support, her love to carry through the telephone wire and cover the fresh wounds.

And like so very many times before, she bandaged me up, loved on me a bit and sent me back to my daily life with thoughts to ponder, words of Truth to embed in my brain and cover the place on my heart that had been pierced.

“I know this is hard for you,” she said. “And I hate to see you hurt. But God is in control of this.”

"Oh, yes." I’d remembered and then mused aloud, "He is, isn’t He?"

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This fall on Wednesday mornings, I’m taking a study that focuses on exploring the mentoring relationships found in the Bible.

I thought it appropriate because I just entered into a more formal mentoring relationship at the beginning of the summer with a woman who attends my church.

During our first meeting for the mentoring and wisdom study this morning, one of the women in my class shared with us a study that cited findings about how people do not develop dendrites in their brains that give way to major wisdom until the sixth decade of life.

I'll be 28 in January. And it shows.

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A few months ago, while having coffee at my mom’s house, my grandmother shared with me that she doesn’t like being the oldest generation.

At the time, I thought, how strange it was that she didn’t like that. After all, she could enjoy seeing the fruit of all her hard work – her children, her grandchild grown into kind people, who love her, love others and love the Lord. Her great grandchildren even know her, and they demand her voice over the phone at least once per week.

But now, after yesterday and after today and after years and years and years of wandering around blindly in the dark searching for answers in my own mind, on my own terms, I get it.

I really, really get it.

There’s wisdom in the oldest generation.

And sometimes you just ache, you just crave for someone who has walked ahead of you, who has tread a different but oh-so-similar path to come up next to you, slip their hand in yours, bandage you up and say, “I know it hurts. And I hate to see you hurt. But God is in control of this.”

Because He is, isn't He.

And it often takes the wisdom gained in years to remind me of it in the midst of pain.

While I'm 28, and it shows, my grandma is, well, she's hit the age of the dentrites forming, and it shows -- in her life and, consequently, in mine.

10 comments:

  1. He is. It's so hard to remember that sometimes isn't it? But when we do remember it, it's a huge weight off our shoulders, don't you think?

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  2. He is.

    We forget, but HE is. Always.

    I'd not thought that about the older generation before, and yet, yes I can see it. Food for thought.

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  3. He definitely is.

    It's amazing how much wisdom we gain as we grow. But I definitely do enjoy the wisdom of my elders :)

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  4. You are an amazing writer. I loved this one and can so understand it. I know there are times in my own life when I need to talk with someone who has been there before. I am lucky enough right now, that my grandmother is still alive. She is in her 90's and is an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. That Grandma sure knows the right things to say. <3

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  6. This was hard for me to read as my greataunt, who was the only grandmother I ever had, just passed away on Sunday.

    There are three brothers and sisters left out of seven and the wisdom abounds. I, like you, will continue turning to them when my age shows itself.

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  7. I am glad for the generations above and below me that keep me grounded and remembering the Source from which my strength comes.

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  8. He is. He is. He is!

    This resonates with me deeply
    Thank you for sharing your words. Your grandma's wisdom. It is really needed today.

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  9. there is much wisdom in this post--your g-ma is definitely leaving a legacy.

    how wonderful to have so many older women speaking Truth in your life. at least we do not walk through pain alone.

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There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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