Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Everyday Life: Conversationalism

A capture of the conversations had between 3.5 year old G and other members of the family during the morning of Tuesday, March 15:


4:45 a.m.: Shuffleshuffleshuffle. "Mommy. MOMmmmy. Roll over," he whispers loudly. "I want to touch your OTHER ear."

****

6:30 a.m.: "Mommy. ... MOMmmmmy. Daddy won't snuggle with me and let me touch his ear. He is NOT being nice. He's in the shower and he said he doesn't have time to come back to bed."

****

6:55 a.m.: "I'm an ALLIGATOR!" SplahsplashSPLASH.

6:56 a.m.: "But I don't want to sit down! I'm an alligator. Chomp. Chomp! CHOMP!"

6:57 a.m.: "Daddy, this water is too cold for alligators!"

6:57 a.m.: "My weenie hurts."

****

7:05 a.m.: "Mommy, I'm hungry. Get up. I need banana nut pancakes. Now. And daddy is being so mean. He said I have to go to the doctor if my weenie still hurts. But it doesn't now."

7:10 a.m.: "Noooooo! I don't want yogurt! I want banana nut pancakes! Please! PLEASE! I want banana nut pancakes."

7:11 a.m.: "Mommy, daddy is NOT nice! He told me I should eat my yogurt and granola and be happy."

7:12 a.m.: "There's not enough granola on my yogurt! I need more granola on my yogurt. I can SEE yogurt. There's NOT ENOUGH GRANOLA!"

****

7:46 a.m.: "I don't want to wear pants and underwear to preschool. Daddy said I don't have to wear pants this morning. He said I needed to get air."

7:47 a.m.: "Could I wear my pirate costume to preschool?"

7:48 a.m.: "Why! WHY? Why do I have to wear underwear and pants to preschool?!"

7:49 a.m.: "Could I just wear my fireman coat?"

7:50 a.m.: SCOWL. "But I DON'T LIKE UNDERWEAR AND PANTS! I LIKE my PIRATE COSTUME!"

7:51 a.m.: "Yogurt and water makes my weenie hurt. I think banana nut pancakes would help more."

7:52 a.m.: "But it does NOT hurt that much! I'm not going to the doctor. I'm going to drink my water and eat my yogurt so I can eat my preoebeotos."

7:52 a.m.: "Yeah, my probeotoics. They help it feel better. Not the doctor. I want to go to school. And wear my pirate costume."

****

8:22 a.m.: "Mom, but there ARE pants attached to my pirate costume."

8:23 a.m.: SCOWL.

****

8:45 a.m.: "I can't get in the car! I can't get in the car! I can't find my bow and arrow! I CAN'T go to school with out my bow and arrow!"

8:46 a.m.: "Now I'm not going to be able to hunt for pheasants with Patrick."

****

11:33 a.m.: "I didn't do anything at school."

11:33 a.m.: "Yes, I stared at the wall all morning."

11:34 a.m.: "Can we have banana pancakes for lunch?"

11:34 a.m.: "The man with the yellow hat makes GEORGE pancakes for lunch."

11:34 a.m.: "I could make you a yellow hat, mommy."

****

11:55 a.m.: "My friend Patrick and my friend Banana pushed me at preschool today."

11:55 a.m.: "Yeah, my friend Banana."

11:55 a.m.: "She's a girl. With brown hair. Banana."

11:55 a.m.: "Yeah, Brianna."

11:55 a.m.: "I told her she couldn't go hunting for pheasants with me next time we go."

11:55 a.m.: "When can I buy a bow and arrow?"

****

11:57 a.m.: "Why do you need me to be quiet?"

11:57 a.m.: whispers loudly "Is THIS quiet?"

11:57 a.m.: "How long is five minutes?"

11:57 a.m.: "But, why, mommy? Why? Why do I need to be quiet?"

11:57 a.m.: "But I like talking to you!"

::Insert tears and heart-broken sobs::

11:58 a.m.: "I {sniff SNIFF} forgive you."

11:59 a.m.: "Can we talk about buying a bow and arrow now?"

11:59 a.m.: "Is it next week yet?"

11:59 a.m.: "Is it next week now?"

11:59 a.m.: "Now?"

11:59 a.m.: "I don't remember the days of the week song."

11:59 a.m.: "We didn't sing it today at school."

11:59 a.m.: "Yes, I stared at the wall."

11:59 a.m.: "Could we eat banana nut pancakes now?"

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