Friday, June 10, 2011

Five-Minute Friday: Backward

It's 10 o'clock on a Friday night, and he's awake, completely ready to party ala a newborn whose days and nights are mixed up.

My computer morphs into a raceway for tow trucks, dump trucks and fire trucks alike instead of existing as a quiet haven where thick words are spilled from a mind heavy with thoughts of swim lessons, church leadership and organic eggs.


The cars speed across the top of the keyboard as I attempt to steal a few moments of silence and solitude from a day that's been brimming with sounds of life lived alongside two small boys.

I wonder how long we'll keep driving seemingly backward -- the constant demand for mommy, the restless early evenings dominated by continued play instead of sleep and relaxation, the constant craving full attention every waking minute.

There's got to be a break somewhere in sight.

The moment I pray for movement forward, to a time and space where children succumb to restful slumber in the early evening hours and welcome playtime with other caregivers and demand less of mommy, a suddenly sleepy toddler curls up next to my body, places his head of silky copper hair on my lap and pats my leg lovingly.


Gratitude lunges into my heart, takes up its sword and battles impatience and exhaustion.

And it wins, carrying with it the battered battle reminder that one day when our boys are all moving forward at the speed of lightening, I'll likely crave just a little bit of backwards motion to a time and place where still-chubby hands launch Matchbox cars across computer keyboard at 10 o'clock on a Friday night.

{Written in the midst of many, many {cute} interruptions, so I'm sure this ended up being more than five minutes of writing time, but hey. That's motherhood right now; I take what I can.}