Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bigger Picture Moment: Wholeness of Truth

I wonder how many of us grieve our losses -- however varied and different-- in silence.

How many of us smile, respond with OK when asked how we are doing while we feel anything and everything but fine. 

I wonder how many, and I wonder why. 

I wonder why my first thought was to tuck away my sadness, the loss, bury it deep down inside the deepest wells of my heart ... why I thought I could, well, rather, should walk this journey alone. And the more I thought, the more I questioned. 

Don't I know yet that there is comfort in arms wrapped around my shoulder, in words spoken, in stories shared, in love given freely?

That there is nothing more scarring than letting the battles wounds of life sit in the darkness of heart wells?

That there is healing in the Light?

I wrote my hurt into the pages here, etched the words of this piece of our story into the white and shared because I thought it would somehow maybe help someone else who felt like hiding her hurts way down deep. 

I thought maybe I would be a hand in the darkness of those wells in the heart stretched out offering to pull someone else out of those depths. 

But the wholeness of truth is, and I didn't quite know it until so many friends began showing up in so many ways, that sharing would continue the work He's already started in layering salves on a healing heart. I didn't know it, but I needed some other hands to reach out, clasp mine after I emerged from that darkness, sun blinded, a little shaky and raw. 

Thanks for being His hands and feet and His arms and mouth --pulling me up and embracing me in the steadying of my own two feet and walking beside me as I take baby steps forward into the light of a new day. 

I likely won't ever forget it. 

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20


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11 comments:

  1. Hyacynth, I love this today. It is raw, real, and beautiful. Thank you for writing about your journey, as hard as it is. Thank you for trusting us enough to share. You are in my heart and prayers today. I love it when I find His hands in those who walk along with me.

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  2. So grateful that you're feeling love, His and all of ours.

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  5. woops! wasn't signed in as me!! here is my comment!

    Hyacynth,

    one of my favorite verses is Matthew 18:20 ... you bless so many so therefore it returns to you by His hand xoxox stay sweet

    ~Dwana

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  6. I didn't get the chance to comment on your other post. I read it, but just didn't have time to sit down and write a proper comment. I am so sorry for the grief you are feeling. My heart aches for you and I pray God brings you the peace and comfort you so desperately need at this time. I am here for you should you need an ear.

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  7. I understand this! I do~ Thank you for this~

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  8. I have no words. My prayers and my love to you (((hugs)))

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  9. It is moments like these when being an "online friend" just doesn't seem like enough. I wish I could give you a long hug in person. Know that your posts about your loss will help someone going through the same thing....they will read your beautiful writing and think "that's exactly how it is!" Praying that your heart continues to heal in His love; knowing that your heart will never forget.

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  10. I'm so glad you shared with us, and I'm so glad it brought you comfort. Sometimes things are just too big to carry alone, and I think it's not weakness, but strength to have the courage to reach out for another's hand.

    This too shall pass, my friend. Take care of yourself, rest, and keep heart.

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There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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