Building character rather than building my resume.
Becoming more of the me God intended me to be rather than more of the me I intended me to be.
Had I known last year what being results in, I might have been too nervous to choose such a powerful word to commit to focusing on.
Because the word being is actually a more subdued version of the word grow.
And, boy, has it been a year of growth -- spiritual, emotional and mental growth.
While my body actually shrank -- which last year I wasn't sure I would be able to make and keep such a resolution -- the other parts of me have been stretched and opened and grown through thanksgiving, through grief and through choosing joy.
It's been a ride ... a ride I'm glad to have taken but am now ready to exit.
I readily admit that I'm ready to usher in a new year with its freshness and possibility and newness.
And in that newness stretched out like the deep dawning of a new day, I'm embracing a new word for 2012:
Patient -- embracing a wait, contentedness, willing to choose joy despite circumstances, tolerant
"God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." Isaiah 40: 28-31
So I will wait upon God.
I will be patient with myself -- with the healing of my scars, with the limits of being human, with what is out of my control, with the time structures in which I live, with the expectations I set for myself.
And I will pray for patience to run deep and wide enough to spill over my heart and flow from my tongue.
Patience enough to allow for the space it takes for passion to burn.
And burn well.
A group of writers have come together to take a step beyond standing in stalled resolutions instead vowing to pick one word that will help guide them through the year. I'm joining formally this year after having had such a wonderful experience of focusing on one word during 2011. #OneWord365