Conversationalism: Blue Car Grocery Carts and Gypsies

A few of the conversations had with my 3.5 year old* during the span of one day:
7:28 a.m.: "Mom. Mooooooom. MOOOM!"

7:28 a.m.: "I'm late for work at the fire station! I need you to drive me there."

7:28 a.m.: "Yes, I do work there! LOOK! I'm wearing my fire coat and fire hat and fire boots."

7:28 a.m.: "My name isn't G. It's Rich the firefighter plumber."

7:28 a.m.: "If I don't go to work, who will help all of the people?"

7:28 a.m.: "I'm going to ask daddy to take me."

7:35 a.m.: "Mo-OM. Daddy said he won't take me to work at the firestation and he said my name is not Rich. And it is! I AM Rich the firefighter plumber."

****

10:28 a.m.: "Hey, mom, can we use that cart? Look, it's a car! I want that blue car cart!"

10:28 a.m.: "Hey! HeyWAIT! Mom. MOOOOOOOOM. YOU FORGOT THE BLUE CAR CART. WAIT FOR ME!"

10:28 a.m.: "I neeeeed green apples. Mom, really, I need green apples."

10:28 a.m.: "But I see green apples."

10:28 a.m.: "Are you sure those green apples are pears?"

10:28 a.m.: "If we would have taken that blue car cart, I could have droven us to find the green apples and we wouldn't be in this mess."

10:30 a.m.: "Can we buy pretzels?"

10:30 a.m.: "I didn't SEEEE any pretzels in the drawer."

10:30 a.m.: "When we get home I'm going to tell daddy about this."

10:30 a.m.: "He's probably going to put you in time out for being mean to me!"

10:30 a.m.: "He's probably not going to let you play with any toys or have dessert."

10:30 a.m.: "He's not going to tell me I can't play with any toys or have dessert."

10:30 a.m.: "What are gypsies?"

10:30 a.m.: "But where would I sleep?"

10:30 a.m.: "But I don't want to sleep in a tent!"

10:30 a.m.: "OK! I won't tell on you! Don't sell me!"

10:30 a.m.: "But teasing is NOT nice."

10:42 a.m.: Unexpected item on the belt. Pleas--

10:42 a.m.: "But I'm not touching the belt."

10:42 a.m.: Unexpected item on the belt. Please remove the item and place it -- .

10:42 a.m.: "My HANDS are not touching it!"

10:42 a.m.: Unexpected item on the belt. Ple--

10:42 a.m.: "Those are my ELLLLLbows, mom."

10:42 a.m.: Unexpected item on the be --

10:42 a.m.: "OK! I'm sorry! I won't touch it with my hands or my elbows or my ARMS."

10:44 a.m.: "Why do you put that card in the machine?"

10:44 a.m.: "How does the monies come out of that card and go into the machine?"

10:42 a.m.: "Why don't we have any REAL monies to pay for our groceries?"

10:42 a.m.: "I have monies in my piggy bank. I could pay for the groceries if you let me smash it open."

10:42 a.m.: "You and daddy do have real monies and the real monies is in that card?"

10:42 a.m.: "Look the blue car cart is gone. Oh, now I'll NEVER get to take it with me."

10:43 a.m.: "I don't want to get buckled in my seat."

10:43 a.m.: "If I get buckled in my seat will you take me to work at the fire station?"

10:43 a.m.: "I do, TOO, work there. I pay them monies."

10:43 a.m.: "Yeah, they pay me monies."

10:43 a.m.: "Will you get real monies if you sell me to gymsies? Because I don't want to sleep in a tent with people I don't know. Only people I do know. I like living with you and daddy and E."

10:44 a.m.: "Can we put our bed in a tent?"

*Originally posted Monday, April 4, 2011