Saturday, May 12, 2012

Motherhood: I {will} remember

These boys of mine running through the tall grass of our backyard, picking me Mother's Day flowers and bringing them as love offerings to my hands, they began like you.
Boys

Tiny heart beats flickering fast like galloping horses. 

Trust me when I say that I've loved them fiercely since the moment I felt the first twinges of pregnancy resound inside my body.

And probably even before there was ever one moment of exhaustion or tenderness felt, I loved them.

The heart knew them first, before the body even could. 

It's the same for you. 

Though my arms have no memory of you

and my mind doesn't know the color of your eyes or hair (like I've memorized your brothers' faces and can see with even my eyes shut)

my mothers heart remembers you.

It remembers you this week, the due date forecasted for your arrival

And it will remember you tomorrow as we celebrate motherhood and the gift of children.

And that -- remembering that you were and still are 

will be enough water enough to quench my thirst for you until the day

my eyes can memorize the softness of your cheeks 

and my arms can know the curves of your body while pressed against my own

both of us restored.

11 comments:

  1. So honest and tender!

    Happy Mother's Day, friend!

    xoxoxo
    Jen

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  2. Every February, I remember the baby that wasn't. HUGS.

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  3. This was so beautifully open, Hy. Hugs this weekend, and always--

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  4. So beautiful...Happy Mother's Day, Hy! {Hugs}

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  5. Such hope, that someday you will be able to hold your baby again.

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  6. I feel privileged that you shared this with all of us, Hy -- so beautiful. What a glorious day that will be, my friend.

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  7. I have no words, so instead, I share {hugs}.

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  8. Dear Hyacynth,
    These words are so precious.
    Much love to you, friend.

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  9. ((hugs)) friend. This is beautiful. Praying for your mother heart and thanking God that one day you WILL be reunited. Love you!

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  10. "my mothers heart remembers you"

    This is it....the sum total. A mother's heart is like none other in how it remembers and loves its child, and how it breaks for that child.

    I pray for peace for you and your tender mother heart.

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  11. Love you, Hy! I know how hard Mother's day can be.

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There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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