Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Just Write: Borrowed

I hear whimpers tumble through the baby monitor from small lips.

As I climb stairs that aren't my own, I hear her voice a little clearer.

There's hesitation as I slip through the door both in my careful movements toward her small body perched sleepily atop of the crib mattress.

And in her eyes as I enter the room, a familiar enough face but one she doesn't expect.

Humbly, gently I lift her into my arms as tears pool in her eyes, confused as to why I'm here instead of her mommy or daddy.

But I've got this, I reassure myself.

I've got you, I reassure her.

A few tears spill down her cheeks as we head downstairs and try to find shoes so we can join the big kids in the backyard.

But her hands, they cling to my shirt, fabric balled tightly in between fingers, and she rests her head momentarily, hesitantly on my chest before I exhale deeply, sink into a chair and just hug her as she wrestles with her emotions.

Then, she sinks into the space beneath my chin and fully surrenders to the warmth.

I watch through the screen door her older sister and the boys I once cradled as babies, my very own babies, run wildly around the backyard, no time for anything other than the hard work of play, as she lends me the sweetest of snuggles.

This little one, she normally won't hang out with me for more than just the moments it takes for me to try and bribe her with chocolate or bananas, but it's like she knows that I need a baby to borrow for just a little bit today, so she lingers in my lap.

And these few precious moments, they confirm that I again want to count down days until new life comes forth, passing time sorting and folding those soft, impossibly small newborn clothes {like these baby clothes from Polarn O. Pyret},

that I want again to snuggle another small body born from my own body

that perhaps we're ready to venture into the unknown territory of trying again

instead of simply living in the familiar land off of borrowed baby snuggles.

This post was graciously inspired and sponsored by Polarn O. Pyret. I was compensated for my time. 




5 comments:

  1. I borrow a lot of baby snuggles these days.

    Bless you in the discernment and waiting.

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  2. I borrow a lot of baby snuggles these days.

    Bless you in the discernment and waiting.

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful, Hy. Those borrowed baby snuggles are wonderful, aren't they? And I'll be so happy for you if you're blessed again with one of your own.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I got to feed a baby her bottle just last night and then rock her off to sleep. I don't think I will ever completely get past the need for a baby fix.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Many thanks for sharing your fantastic article.

    ReplyDelete

There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

ShareThis