Sunday, April 28, 2013

Everyday Life: The Words

The words won't come.

Not in writing or in conversation.

And so I find myself quiet in this struggle.

The tears are free-flowing, though, in a way I've never known before now, like there's been years of them pent up.

The dam is apparently filled and any extra overflow has nowhere to go except for out. I feel like I should wear a sign that says "flood warning."

It's all so heavy.

The weight of the tears.

The weight of the losses.

The whole not knowing what's happening with my body and why when I stand up I still feel this spacey/off balance sort of feeling.

The feelings of depression and the accompanying anxiety that follows after sustaining so many losses in just three years time {we lost my dad three years ago this month on top of the three babies in the past 16  months and my grandfather this past December}.

They say it's normal for me to feel this way ... after what we've gone through.

But there's nothing normal about the way I feel right now.

The tears. The quiet. The racing of my thoughts and mind.

Not in writing or conversation.

3 comments:

  1. Oh honey... I wish there were words for me to help you through this. Sending you love and hoping it helps even a tiny bit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry this is such a tough time for you. Have you thought about seeing a grief counselor? I hope you find peace, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Peace Hy. I only pray for your peace. xo!

    ReplyDelete

There's nothing better than good conversation ... but not while talking to myself. Will you play a part in this discussion?

AND will you pretty please have your email linked to your account or leave it for me so I can respond?

Thanks for taking the time to make these thoughts into conversation.

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