Monday, March 23, 2015

New Growth

I wait.

For winter to melt away into spring.

Hearts to heal.

Prayers to be answered.

For an invitation to a faraway place that holds more and more of my heart every day.

And for my hair to return to its former glory.

The last one, it seems silly, really. When I think about it within the frame of all of glory and the every day, amid all of the need and all of the hurt, amid all of the joy and all of the laughter, I think, "really?"

Really, am I really and honestly waiting for something so small and tiny and inconsequential as my hair to regrow and return to its shiny, healthy mess of locks?

Late last summer I noticed that my normally thick hair was thinning out quite a bit. My husband thought I was just more tuned into it, but really my hair was actually falling out more. Probably it was a perfect storm of stress mixed with some heartache and a flaring autoimmune issue that caused my tresses to wilt like leaves falling from autumn trees. By the time the trees were shedding their leaves, I honestly wondered if at some point I might just go completely bald. I sympathized with the trees that lost all their vibrant glory before the others.

By the time snow started dusting the ground, I was feeling like I'd recovered quite a bit from the heartache of our "failed" adoption and the implementation of breathing and moving and doing the two in conjunction while praying seemed to douse the fires of flares and stress enough to give not only my mind and heart but also my hair a break.

In this new year, we have known great joy, and that joy has been a salve over the scars of the past few years. And that joy has been founded now in the wait of bringing two girls home forever into our family.

I marvel that joy has been found in the hard, in the long wait of

winter and healing and prayers prayed passionately at all hours of day and night and invitations being carefully crafted and in my very own locks of hair.

In the wait there has been joy

and there has been new growth

in days lengthening, sun stretching longer across the hours and horizons.

There has been faith strengthened and elongated,

hearts mended stronger

soft whisper-prayers held, heard,

heart strings strengthened.

And because He knows every hair on my head and nothing is too small or meek to escape His tender care, too, in the wait there has been new growth in the form of tiny whisps of baby hairs stretching longer and longer and longer ...

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful. I've been following your adoption story and praying for your peace and comfort. Sending you some spring time love. May you feel renewed by His presence in this season of growth. Much love, friend.

    ReplyDelete

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