Wednesday, December 9, 2015

The Sacrifice of Love

In a world filled with hard and heartbreak I pray even more so heartfelt prayers that our home would be a place of refuge and healing, hope and the love of God Himself. 

It's not always like this. 

Sometimes the beast of pride roars greatly inside my own heart and I close my hands instead of giving more because it feels like I already have given so much. 

On these days of closed knuckled-white grips, sometimes God blesses my heart in unexpected ways and reminds me that loving lavishly is always worth sacrificing the pride of my heart.

My eight-year-old son was my reminder in flesh yesterday. He loves decorating the Christmas tree. And he has tons of ornaments. His little sister, however, has few to no fault of her own; it's just a by-product of being newly adopted. So her part of decorating was short without others sharing with her. 

My oldest son shares a lot everyday. He gives a lot everyday. And he gives out of a sense of his justness and his love. More than any of the other siblings, he interacts with our youngest daughter, plays with her and bears the brunt of her not-so-nice words and behaviors often. Now we don't allow her to abuse him; that's not allowed in our family; we correct her behavior but in teaching her how to really interact and integrating her into the family, we need people in our family that will keep offering her chances to try again. 

This is Gabe. He keeps offering. Yes, more often than not, he persists in his loving kindness toward her without really seeing much fruit from his commitment. 

Yesterday, my boy didn't have to share his ornaments. He could have said, you know, this is way special to me, and I already give enough. 

But he didn't. 

He gave more of himself.

He gave again.

And again.

And again. 

Even going so far as to help her reach high branches to hang his ornaments with the use of a step stool.

He does this day in and day out with her especially. With love. 

I see her changing slowly, the survival behaviors coming out less frequently and less forcefully. 

His actions, his determination have taught me just as much as the books. As the trainings. As the research of parenting kids from hard places. 

His actions have taught me that the greatest gift I can give my children at their young ages is to sacrifice my pride and give lavishly of my love because it sinks so deep into their hearts that it really does grow beautiful things from the inside out. 

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