I’ve never wanted to put parameters on gifts because I know so often gifts are expressions of love, but I have to gently share with you something that I've long needed to share:
please don’t buy me candles for Mother’s Day.
Or some really cool thing for the house you know I’d love.
Chances are, I would, you know, love it.
And chances are I would feel the love coming out of any of these thoughtful gifts meant to display your affections for me.
But I have to tell you — I’m already so stuff-heavy.
And I’m sorta kinda most often drowning in our stuff — trying to organize it, sort it, stash it, display it, clean it, pick it up — that I need your help in not adding more. Because, you know, I cannot bear to part with the beautiful things you’ve bought me; it reminds me of you. It hurts to part with it even when I’m no longer using it or wearing it or when it’s collecting dust. I love it because of the memory of love it holds, but the actual things are making my life heavier in so many ways that I need your help in communicating love through giving me gifts that aren’t so heavy for me to carry.
Like the gift of your time, all of us together for an entire afternoon of enjoyment. Shower me with your best memories of the last year, your favorite mom-moments, your laughter spilling out of your lips as we remember together the times we’ve rolled doubled over laughing, as we make new memories.
Or if you absolutely need to physically give me a something, give me a gift that will help me care for myself in a way I hardly get to do while I’m caring for everyone else— like a gift certificate for an overnight at a hotel where I can just sleep uninterrupted. Or a a massage session. Or a pedicure. Or a painting class. Or a day-away retreat. Or a certificate for a family night out. Or something else that feeds my soul while I’m in the midst of daily feeding the souls of all the people in this house.
So, my loves, please don't buy me candles this Mother's Day or really even anything else. The only gifts I want I already have - and that's the gift of each of you.
Just give me a way that day to enjoy those gifts: be present, be kind and be you.
(I'm not every mom so please note I'm only speaking for me; but if this does resonate with you, feel free to use these words for expressing your heart.)